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The Incontinent Duck
The Incontinent Duck
There once was a pond. It wasn't a very large pond. It looked almost man-made. Maybe it was. Regardless of its beginnings, it had become a necessary spot for wildlife in the area. Development of the surrounding land had limited places for the animals and the next closest body of water was at least 2 miles away.
The animals that resided there had become sort of an elitist group. They claimed the area for themselves and were not tolerant of any outside visitors. They weren't even nice to each other.
The possums were treated like the low class. The skunks as if they were some foreign entity. Everyone avoided the snakes and the one groundhog might as well have been Bigfoot.
The rulers of this members only body of water were the ducks. Occasionally geese would roll through but they were seen as foreign tourists. There were 7 adult ducks and 6 baby ducks. They stayed close together but generally seemed to tolerate each other due to the way they looked down their beaks at any animal that wasn't a duck.
One pair of ducks had just been blessed with the sixth baby duck. It was their first little one. There had been four eggs but only one made it. They were so proud at their little one. He had managed to free himself from the egg in under 3 hours. That was a record for this ruling class. The oldest of the hatchlings had done it in just over four. The new parents beamed with pride.
The young duck was breaking every milestone ahead of schedule. Trouble began when he was six months old. The older hatchling had jumped out and scared the small duck. He instantly relieved himself. After that the other ducks made a game of his incontinence. They would see who could cause the longest stream.
All of the pride the parents once had was now replaced by shame. Their young prodigy was made fun of every day for his apparent defect.
Another six months and the young ducks were learning to fly. The youngest started to shine again. He was off the ground before any of the others could even manage to flap right. He was soaring and on top of the world. The moment was sorry l short-lived. A storm had grown close and at the first coal if thunder, the poor duck emptied his bladder again. This time on his poor parents. They wasted no time making jokes as his parents hung their heads in shame. Or possibly to rub the duck pee out of their eyes. Maybe both.
So the young duck moved on his own. Really it was only down the bank but it kept him from hearing the jeers of his peers.
Six more months down the road, the mating season started anew. His parents had different mates now. This was typical of ducks but he knew it was because each one blamed the other for the "faulty" offspring. It wasn't long before the ducks had more babies. Each produced three new eggs. As some of the previous mates had moved on, there were more now four of the original group, six of last year's mating season, and six new babies. Our duck friend didn't want his new siblings to make fun of his leaky bladder, so he stayed off on his own. He spent his time watching humans and searching for ways to put the proverbial cork in it.
The new lot were extra curious. Five of the six managed to find as much trouble as possible. So, it was no surprise that that ended up in a bad situation.
The hermit duck was watching people walk through the woods when he noticed a man that seemed very sketchy. The man went to the side of the pond and dumped a foreign Substance into the water. The six babies were on the case. Five of them charged in while the sixth once showed more restraint.
As they got close, a substance surrounded them and suddenly they were having trouble staying afloat. The sixth duck stopped cold. It looked as if the water was attempting to swallow the younglings. She turned and fled to shore looking for their parents. The elitist ducks were off in the distance showing their maturity by belittling the possums.
They were too far away. Sure noticed the hermit duck. She knew that it was him or no one. She quacked up behind him and was startled. He instantly relieved himself but the little duck didn't notice. She panicked and blurted out what was going on. The hermit hurried to the bank to see his siblings all drowning. He had a plan though.
First be put a branch I the water so they could try to latch on to it. Then he remembered something that might help. He went out of sight and came back with a strange bottle. He wasn't sure what the blue liquid was but there were baby ducks on the side. He knew it would have to help. He stepped on the bottle causing liquid to ooze out. Then he covered himself by rolling around in it. Going into the water, he noticed the potion was helping him fight through the sludge. He got the first little one bass back to shore and went back out.
Four had gotten to the shore when he went for the fifth. The last navy had disappeared under the water. He rushed in and looked under for the little one. By the time he found him, he was starting to sink himself.
He was exhausted. At least he had saved most of them. He saw the light fading. Suddenly a splash beside him brought him to his senses. Him and the little one were on the surface. A strange new duck was helping them out. She struggled as well but they all made it out. After they all rolled around in the healing goo, the new female expressed admiration for the ducks bravery.
The older ducks finally returned and didn't know what to make of the sight. They instantly made fun of sprinkler duck when something unexpected happened. He didn't lose his urine. The near death experience had apparently cured his malady. Well mostly. But enough to not be the joke of the pond. He walked with the female duck and next season they had three boys of their own. The mom left once the boys were old enough and the three boys left when it was time to spawn.
He was happy. He'd had a life and didn't care what others thought. The next spawning season, the girl duck that had run to him for help became his mate. I mean yeah it's his half-sister but they are ducks. They don't care. This time though, they mated for life. Having brave little offspring for the rest of their days. Once day she decided to ask him how he had discovered that life saving liquid. He merely told here ,"it had a picture of baby ducks on the side. And if it's good enough for baby ducks, it's good enough for me!"
(All quacking was translated by a team of conservationists. No baby ducks were harmed permanently by this story. The human that dumped in the pond was sprayed by a skunk on the way out. He then tripped and had his left leg broken when he was run over by an older woman flying down a sidewalk in an electric wheelchair. Dawn takes grease out of your way.)
© The Moonlight Bard
There once was a pond. It wasn't a very large pond. It looked almost man-made. Maybe it was. Regardless of its beginnings, it had become a necessary spot for wildlife in the area. Development of the surrounding land had limited places for the animals and the next closest body of water was at least 2 miles away.
The animals that resided there had become sort of an elitist group. They claimed the area for themselves and were not tolerant of any outside visitors. They weren't even nice to each other.
The possums were treated like the low class. The skunks as if they were some foreign entity. Everyone avoided the snakes and the one groundhog might as well have been Bigfoot.
The rulers of this members only body of water were the ducks. Occasionally geese would roll through but they were seen as foreign tourists. There were 7 adult ducks and 6 baby ducks. They stayed close together but generally seemed to tolerate each other due to the way they looked down their beaks at any animal that wasn't a duck.
One pair of ducks had just been blessed with the sixth baby duck. It was their first little one. There had been four eggs but only one made it. They were so proud at their little one. He had managed to free himself from the egg in under 3 hours. That was a record for this ruling class. The oldest of the hatchlings had done it in just over four. The new parents beamed with pride.
The young duck was breaking every milestone ahead of schedule. Trouble began when he was six months old. The older hatchling had jumped out and scared the small duck. He instantly relieved himself. After that the other ducks made a game of his incontinence. They would see who could cause the longest stream.
All of the pride the parents once had was now replaced by shame. Their young prodigy was made fun of every day for his apparent defect.
Another six months and the young ducks were learning to fly. The youngest started to shine again. He was off the ground before any of the others could even manage to flap right. He was soaring and on top of the world. The moment was sorry l short-lived. A storm had grown close and at the first coal if thunder, the poor duck emptied his bladder again. This time on his poor parents. They wasted no time making jokes as his parents hung their heads in shame. Or possibly to rub the duck pee out of their eyes. Maybe both.
So the young duck moved on his own. Really it was only down the bank but it kept him from hearing the jeers of his peers.
Six more months down the road, the mating season started anew. His parents had different mates now. This was typical of ducks but he knew it was because each one blamed the other for the "faulty" offspring. It wasn't long before the ducks had more babies. Each produced three new eggs. As some of the previous mates had moved on, there were more now four of the original group, six of last year's mating season, and six new babies. Our duck friend didn't want his new siblings to make fun of his leaky bladder, so he stayed off on his own. He spent his time watching humans and searching for ways to put the proverbial cork in it.
The new lot were extra curious. Five of the six managed to find as much trouble as possible. So, it was no surprise that that ended up in a bad situation.
The hermit duck was watching people walk through the woods when he noticed a man that seemed very sketchy. The man went to the side of the pond and dumped a foreign Substance into the water. The six babies were on the case. Five of them charged in while the sixth once showed more restraint.
As they got close, a substance surrounded them and suddenly they were having trouble staying afloat. The sixth duck stopped cold. It looked as if the water was attempting to swallow the younglings. She turned and fled to shore looking for their parents. The elitist ducks were off in the distance showing their maturity by belittling the possums.
They were too far away. Sure noticed the hermit duck. She knew that it was him or no one. She quacked up behind him and was startled. He instantly relieved himself but the little duck didn't notice. She panicked and blurted out what was going on. The hermit hurried to the bank to see his siblings all drowning. He had a plan though.
First be put a branch I the water so they could try to latch on to it. Then he remembered something that might help. He went out of sight and came back with a strange bottle. He wasn't sure what the blue liquid was but there were baby ducks on the side. He knew it would have to help. He stepped on the bottle causing liquid to ooze out. Then he covered himself by rolling around in it. Going into the water, he noticed the potion was helping him fight through the sludge. He got the first little one bass back to shore and went back out.
Four had gotten to the shore when he went for the fifth. The last navy had disappeared under the water. He rushed in and looked under for the little one. By the time he found him, he was starting to sink himself.
He was exhausted. At least he had saved most of them. He saw the light fading. Suddenly a splash beside him brought him to his senses. Him and the little one were on the surface. A strange new duck was helping them out. She struggled as well but they all made it out. After they all rolled around in the healing goo, the new female expressed admiration for the ducks bravery.
The older ducks finally returned and didn't know what to make of the sight. They instantly made fun of sprinkler duck when something unexpected happened. He didn't lose his urine. The near death experience had apparently cured his malady. Well mostly. But enough to not be the joke of the pond. He walked with the female duck and next season they had three boys of their own. The mom left once the boys were old enough and the three boys left when it was time to spawn.
He was happy. He'd had a life and didn't care what others thought. The next spawning season, the girl duck that had run to him for help became his mate. I mean yeah it's his half-sister but they are ducks. They don't care. This time though, they mated for life. Having brave little offspring for the rest of their days. Once day she decided to ask him how he had discovered that life saving liquid. He merely told here ,"it had a picture of baby ducks on the side. And if it's good enough for baby ducks, it's good enough for me!"
(All quacking was translated by a team of conservationists. No baby ducks were harmed permanently by this story. The human that dumped in the pond was sprayed by a skunk on the way out. He then tripped and had his left leg broken when he was run over by an older woman flying down a sidewalk in an electric wheelchair. Dawn takes grease out of your way.)
© The Moonlight Bard
