This is something I've been thinking about for a long time, something I've been dragging around with me since it happened in 2015.


A few days ago, I just said it to my best friend. That was some sort of spiritual experience.


Don't believe I'm crazy, please. I'm going to try to explain the best I can.


First I have to talk about Thiago. Thiago was a man who lived on the backstreet. I don't know how older he was, maybe about the age of my sister in the early thirties.


I would sometimes hang out when I was younger with other guys from the neighborhood, but then I stopped hanging with them because I was through a bad stage of my life and some of the guys were mean but some of them are lovely Thiago was a good one. I'd see him around sometimes. We had a good relationship he always was really cool.


Moving on, in 2015 I came to Brazil in July, and Thiago was assassinated a few weeks later.


I had an experience that I couldn't describe and that opened my eyes when it got wild, but before it, I had to provide some context.


I've been raised Christian, but my family rarely went to church. But I believed in God, or something like a higher force that runs the world.


Then I turned 14 years old, and everything in my life turned upside down. I became very ill.


If you have not read it yet, you can recall my meningitis story called "Some Harry Potter Shit." Meningitis plays a part in this story.


Meningitis left me with a side effect, epilepsy, which begins at the age of 14. It wasn't that bad because I began treating it right away, but I had just lost consciousness. I fell down two times and was fortunate that someone was nearby to assist me.


Gadernal is a medication that I began taking ( I think the English equivalent is called phenobarbital according to google, I might be wrong, correct me in the comments). There was no longer any lack of consciousness, but the medication made me feel very high much of the time; it is much too strong for a child. As a result, I began to struggle in school because I was unable to pay attention or concentrate as well as I had previously. I have experienced insomnia, depression, anxiety, and severe acne as a result of my treatment. This medication must be taken until I am seventeen years old. And at the time, I didn't understand why such bad things were happening to me because I wasn't a bad person; I simply began to lose faith, and from the age of 15-16, I became an atheist. I became very skeptical about anything.









Back in 2015, I was still having trouble sleeping most of the time, and I was up all night almost every night. Then one day, I was able to get a few hours of sleep at night, maybe 3-4 hours. I was exhausted all day and wanted to take a nap in the afternoon, and I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to do so.


Things are about to get weird, so brace yourself now. I was "dreaming".When you have insomnia and can sleep, most of the time, you won't be able to dream because you won't be able to get to the stage of deep sleeping where dreams happen; this nap was around an hour and a half to two hours.


There is a bench in the “Dream,” similar to those found in parks. I take a seat, and Thiago joins me a few moments later. We start talking about life, and he starts telling me things about my life that I haven't told anyone about and he knows pretty much everything I've kept to myself. Then he starts counseling me about life, saying that I worry too much about problems that a person my age shouldn't worry about and that I should go out more and enjoy life, and then he starts talking in great detail about specific events in my life, the worst ones, as well as the saddest.


Do you recall how I wrote the word Dreaming in quotation marks?


Here's why: I wasn't just dreaming normally; I was also experiencing the real world in a trance-like state. That's the best reason I can think of. As the conversation about my life progresses, I begin to weep, both in the dream and in the real world, heavily weeping and sobbing.


Do you ever get the feeling that you've cleansed your soul after a really hard cry?


That's how it felt.


To summarize, it was the strangest thing I've ever experienced, and I really have no idea what happened. I believe it was some kind of mystical encounter, possibly involving communication with someone from the spiritual world, but I don't know for sure. It transformed me; I became an agnostic and started attending this Kardecism Spiritism church looking for answers. Fortunately, there are a lot of really friendly and open-minded people there, and I loved the setting and the atmosphere. Before the pandemic, I used to visit at least once a month.


I still have a little skepticism, but I'm not completely atheistic like I used to be. Perhaps there's a greater power out there looking for us; it is possible. I've become an agnostic because I believe that's the best position to be in my life at this stage. Most people have faced things that they cannot explain or fully understand. And I think there are good arguments on both sides, the religious side, also the skeptical side, let's say that I'm somewhere in the middle. Since, this experience I’m open to maybe one day go religious, everything is possible. This whole thing of spirituality is also intriguing, I want to learn more.



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