This war is almost over, and it's a loss I'm afraid I'm going to have to take. I've never felt more alone than I do now. Empty, cold, and alone, back down that dark road I go... This depression has its tight grip on my soul, dragging me back down, losing any strength I have left, thrashing back and forth to get lost. Giving up was never an option, but the light is fading, and the warmth is no longer there like it used to be... comes and goes like everything else in my life, leaving me in the cold. I admit I'm scared to death of returning to the nothingness... The old home I thought I left behind, I guess it was never meant for me to leave.
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I can tell I'm close and not too far away, from the cries of pain and the silent scream for help getting louder, my old home isn't too far ahead... No one to save me this time I'm afraid the light will soon be engulfed by darkness and will never shine down on me. My hope and faith are fading as well, nothing more to do but to keep fighting until I can't anymore... My depression and anxiety are winning this war and taking me along as a prize to the cold and lonely abyss where my screams are silent, swallowed by the darkness, just like light when entering a black hole... I know I can't give up and let depression completely kill me off, I'm going to keep moving forward day by day in a trance and keep trying until I find a way back out... I pray I do for my baby's sake... As for now, my story continues... The light may be fading on me, closing the chapter of what was supposed to be my happy ending. The Nothingness continues. Could this be my last fight, or will life toss me another surprise?

© CookieSF