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second chances and second trials...
Today I picked up my pen again but this time I'm doing it for myself. It's been years I wrote or had anything to write about, so pardon my typos or any misconstruction of words. I just needed to feel like myself again, like I felt when I wrote on my blog years ago, or when I wrote for people on my social media accounts, I was young then I guess...
At what age do we officially call ourselves old? When we are 20? Or 30? Or 40? The truth is we are only as old as we let ourselves be, I am only 26 but why do I feel so old? Why do I feel like I can't be whomever I want to be anymore? Why does dreams seem like a big height that I can only reach if...
I used to have the answers to everything, the world was only black or white, it's either doable or not, either ways I could do anything I set my mind to, and I could be anything. I was the person that registered to an aviation school even when I didn't have the money to pay my tuition, I had that faith that I would jump any and every bridge when I get to it. Impossible used to be like a dare word for me to try my hardest or find another approach, now I calculate before I jump, I have lots of "what ifs" , the bravery I used to possess I let it die and these days I feel like I am only a shadow of myself....
Last week I read somewhere, that at our twenties we are supposed to fight for our dreams, live a life that's able to accommodate endless possibilities, I asked myself how old I am again that I am feeling like I can't do anything about my dreams anymore or that I don't even have the right or luxury to dream. I know I have been through a lot in my life but they aren't supposed to deem my light, they are supposed to make me determined enough to want to be better or to do better...
So this is me fighting for myself again,for my dreams and for my children. My mother has always been the kind of woman I admire to be for my children, I want them to be inspired by how I fight for what I want no matter the obstacles. I want them to be proud of me and I want want to be someone my husband can lean on or share financial burdens with. I don't want to get used to being a mediocre or someone who doesn't believe in herself anymore...
So this is my baby steps of saying I am not afraid to believe and to dream again !
© ogechukwu
At what age do we officially call ourselves old? When we are 20? Or 30? Or 40? The truth is we are only as old as we let ourselves be, I am only 26 but why do I feel so old? Why do I feel like I can't be whomever I want to be anymore? Why does dreams seem like a big height that I can only reach if...
I used to have the answers to everything, the world was only black or white, it's either doable or not, either ways I could do anything I set my mind to, and I could be anything. I was the person that registered to an aviation school even when I didn't have the money to pay my tuition, I had that faith that I would jump any and every bridge when I get to it. Impossible used to be like a dare word for me to try my hardest or find another approach, now I calculate before I jump, I have lots of "what ifs" , the bravery I used to possess I let it die and these days I feel like I am only a shadow of myself....
Last week I read somewhere, that at our twenties we are supposed to fight for our dreams, live a life that's able to accommodate endless possibilities, I asked myself how old I am again that I am feeling like I can't do anything about my dreams anymore or that I don't even have the right or luxury to dream. I know I have been through a lot in my life but they aren't supposed to deem my light, they are supposed to make me determined enough to want to be better or to do better...
So this is me fighting for myself again,for my dreams and for my children. My mother has always been the kind of woman I admire to be for my children, I want them to be inspired by how I fight for what I want no matter the obstacles. I want them to be proud of me and I want want to be someone my husband can lean on or share financial burdens with. I don't want to get used to being a mediocre or someone who doesn't believe in herself anymore...
So this is my baby steps of saying I am not afraid to believe and to dream again !
© ogechukwu
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