CHAPTER 2: DEEP WATERS, UNSTEADY BRIDGES
"What is wrong with you Adelaide?" "What…in the world did you do that for. You stupid stupid stupid…gahhh! Wha… why in the world did I do that? No...no…no, no no nooo. I'm not going down that road again."
Why did I kiss him? I was frightened. I knew this feeling and I just couldn't understand it. At that moment, I saw something familiar in his eyes. I never thought I had a heart, but the way it fluttered just at that moment, made me realize that not only did I still have a heart, it was still capable of feeling. But how? How in the world can a heart this broken, still have hope? But was I willing to take that chance again. A wily thing it is, hope. It grabs you and in an instant you see limitless possibilities, but I also knew how destructive can be. I let myself be tricked before by it's mesmerizing touch. But not this time, not this time.
"Grrrrhhhh! I need a drink. I need a freaking drink." And I remember how I cried that day. Not because of the pain of my past, but simply because I knew that I was helplessly falling for him. Tried as I might, to make myself believe, it wasn't real, it just got stronger. I started seeing Dr. Damian on the advice of my closest friend, four months after my last break up which left me a broken mess. Well, she had to do a lot of do a lot of persuading. I wanted to just coil up into a ball and…I don't know, implode into nothingness. That would have been merciful.
And now, one year down the line, just when I was beginning to find myself again, I find myself falling hopelessly for my therapist. Just how messed up do you have to get? "Lord no. Just kill me pleaaaaase."
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"Oh no no no nooo! God please, no!" "Damian all you had to do was let it run its course and…and…you idiot!" "What the heck man? Just what were you thinking?
No attachments Damian, this is your job Damian, just had to keep things professional, you just had…just had to… damn it! Why did she kiss me? What I'm I doing, Damian get your shit together." Well that was after I could form a single coherent thought. I practically exploded into a tirade, uttering every frightening premonition that crossed my mind. In my ten years of practice, I had always kept it all professional, no matter how touching the story, no matter how pathetic they looked, so what was different about her? "Lord help me, this would be the end of me." I knew. no matter how hard I tried not to know, I knew. "This is bad, this is…Damn it! I might lose my license. This is…" I was frightened out of my wits.
Was it always there? Why was her face all I saw when I closed my eyes? "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I looked up, my phone was on the floor, with a couple of other debris which suffered my brief moment of animosity, I was confused and afraid, Sue me. “Hel..” I had to clear my throat to get the words out "Hello"
"Heeeyyyy brother"
"...Lanre? Is that you?"
"Come on man, it surely hasn't been that long, has it?"
"Heyyy my brother! How long has it been? Seriously dude?
"Yeaaahh I know I know, I'm so sorry bruv. I don't know how the time slipped this much, my bad."
"Well that's alright my brother, so how's it been with you? It's been so long, we've got some serious catching up to do."
"Yeah yeah, we'll get enough time for that bruv, I'm coming down in a months time. Just have to put some things in place first."
"Wow! That's really great, looking forward to seeing you again brother. Drinks on you though"
"I wouldn't have it any other way. Hahahaha! But that aside yeah, are you okay bruv? How's it been with you? Your voice initially sounded…heavy" I froze for a moment, that question jolted me back to the reality of my situation. "Hello? You dear bruv?"
"Yeah…yes I am bro…I'm good bruv, I'm good. It's just some work stuff…but nothing that can't be sorted out my brother. I'm good, really"
"Alright bruv. I know you'll find away, you were always the smart one. Hehehehe"
"And you were always the big-mouthed one."
"Hahahaha, what can I say? From you, I take that as a compliment."
"Na you Sabi oo" I said with a deep chuckle, which made me feel somewhat lighter.
"Anyways, I look forward to seeing you Lanre" "Me too bro. Me too. Gotta run now, have some engagements in an hour. Good to hear your voice Damian"
"Same here my brother. Same here. Alright, catch ya later, yeah?"
"Of course bruv. Bye." Lanre and I had been friends since our school days in Illinois, United States. Lanre and I shared some classes, but we didn't really know each other. I was always bullied back then. But then one day, during one of my routinely bad days, I was cornered again and Lanre, to my surprise, stepped in. I mean I was surprised for obvious reasons, I didn't really know this guy and he didn't really know me. Long story short, we both got shiners to show for it and ever since that day, we were literally like brothers. We both graduated with honors and came back to Nigeria together. We kept but then, I just couldn't reach him, a couple of months prior to the time I started seeing my current patient.
"It's a small world after all" as it is often said. It's no cliche and I learnt that soon enough, up close and personal.

(to be continued)
© Charisma