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Sex, Coffee, and Cigarettes
It was my first year of sobriety. 2016. The period where people tell you not to get in a relationship. This wasn't even a relationship. I only wanted to get laid, and I had noticed a guy coming to meetings.
Anyhow this was a period where one's nerves can get raw and you can't always pay attention to what you should.
Brandon (not his real name), a guy who had managed to put a month of sobriety together, was someone new to the Jefferson, Georgia AA meeting. I always had a smoke outside before the meeting. A cup of coffee in one hand, and a lit cigarette in the other. We would be gabbing about current events.
Brandon caught my eye real quick. Tall guy from New York. All I could do is talk to my sponsor about him, and she was having a tough time handling me as a sponsee. She warned me about him.
"Suzanne you had better listen to me." she said. "That young man has tried to get several others to go out with him and he still hasn't gotten a sponsor"
Well I myself didn't listen to her of course. Anyway she acted more like a Gabby girlfriend then a sponsor. She did, however, buy me a journal and told me to write my thoughts out in it. So I did. I had started to text Brandon about spending the night with him. I had already been out on a date with him. That first night wasn't bad, it was the usual dinner date and make out in the car kinda night. I was living at my brother's house and he was living at his dad's house, so we had to book a hotel room.
Hindsight is 20/20. He had decided to start drinking again, and he wreaked of alcohol when I picked him up. Let me catch you up on something: Brandon was what you call a "13th stepper" Instead of drinking on the knowledge and wisdom of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps, he was practicing "Step 13". Hitting on vulnerable women in recovery. I beat him to it. I was bad about it too. I couldn't believe I had done that, but well, I did.
We ate dinner out and checked into the hotel. He peeled his clothes off, and next, you wouldn't believe what I saw him do. He twirled his "manhood" like a rodeo rider would twirl their rope. We got busy on the bed, and we were up all night messing around beneath the sheets, except when I went outside to take a smoke break. It's worth noting, that he didn't drive, nor have a car. His license had been taken away. And he tasted like beer and whiskey. Plus he had been texting women on Tinder when I was in the bathroom. I should know, I caught him in the act. I told him when he was with me at least he could behave himself and he could wait until he was home to do all that. Anyhow it was just one of those nights where two people used each other's bodies, instead of a loving relationship. I knew it wasn't right. But I did get what I was basically needing/wanting. I dropped him off the next morning.
Anyway at future meetings I had started thinking I should set my sights on him. A big mistake. I can see why they told people not to get involved. He continued to hit on women and me as well. The takeaway here? Listen to your sponsor and do what they suggest you do.
2 months later on Christmas Eve, I slept with a co-worker. Well, live and learn. Brandon continued to sit in AA meetings like they were a social club. Then he would get all touchy feely with me outside the meeting building, while his latest girlfriend was waiting outside
in her car. I finally had had enough. I talked to people about what he was doing and other women had complained. So they told him not to come back.
This led to him leaving drunken messages on my voice mail. "You took away my meeting, that was the only social gathering I got to go to!" He could have gone to other meetings. I only wish the best for him and I hope he got sober for good. All I know now is that he's a father.
The bottom line is this: Listen to your sponsor! I wish I had.
7 years have gone by, and this time I have stayed sober for good so far.
It works if you work it. ☕🚬
© Suzanne M Hall
Anyhow this was a period where one's nerves can get raw and you can't always pay attention to what you should.
Brandon (not his real name), a guy who had managed to put a month of sobriety together, was someone new to the Jefferson, Georgia AA meeting. I always had a smoke outside before the meeting. A cup of coffee in one hand, and a lit cigarette in the other. We would be gabbing about current events.
Brandon caught my eye real quick. Tall guy from New York. All I could do is talk to my sponsor about him, and she was having a tough time handling me as a sponsee. She warned me about him.
"Suzanne you had better listen to me." she said. "That young man has tried to get several others to go out with him and he still hasn't gotten a sponsor"
Well I myself didn't listen to her of course. Anyway she acted more like a Gabby girlfriend then a sponsor. She did, however, buy me a journal and told me to write my thoughts out in it. So I did. I had started to text Brandon about spending the night with him. I had already been out on a date with him. That first night wasn't bad, it was the usual dinner date and make out in the car kinda night. I was living at my brother's house and he was living at his dad's house, so we had to book a hotel room.
Hindsight is 20/20. He had decided to start drinking again, and he wreaked of alcohol when I picked him up. Let me catch you up on something: Brandon was what you call a "13th stepper" Instead of drinking on the knowledge and wisdom of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps, he was practicing "Step 13". Hitting on vulnerable women in recovery. I beat him to it. I was bad about it too. I couldn't believe I had done that, but well, I did.
We ate dinner out and checked into the hotel. He peeled his clothes off, and next, you wouldn't believe what I saw him do. He twirled his "manhood" like a rodeo rider would twirl their rope. We got busy on the bed, and we were up all night messing around beneath the sheets, except when I went outside to take a smoke break. It's worth noting, that he didn't drive, nor have a car. His license had been taken away. And he tasted like beer and whiskey. Plus he had been texting women on Tinder when I was in the bathroom. I should know, I caught him in the act. I told him when he was with me at least he could behave himself and he could wait until he was home to do all that. Anyhow it was just one of those nights where two people used each other's bodies, instead of a loving relationship. I knew it wasn't right. But I did get what I was basically needing/wanting. I dropped him off the next morning.
Anyway at future meetings I had started thinking I should set my sights on him. A big mistake. I can see why they told people not to get involved. He continued to hit on women and me as well. The takeaway here? Listen to your sponsor and do what they suggest you do.
2 months later on Christmas Eve, I slept with a co-worker. Well, live and learn. Brandon continued to sit in AA meetings like they were a social club. Then he would get all touchy feely with me outside the meeting building, while his latest girlfriend was waiting outside
in her car. I finally had had enough. I talked to people about what he was doing and other women had complained. So they told him not to come back.
This led to him leaving drunken messages on my voice mail. "You took away my meeting, that was the only social gathering I got to go to!" He could have gone to other meetings. I only wish the best for him and I hope he got sober for good. All I know now is that he's a father.
The bottom line is this: Listen to your sponsor! I wish I had.
7 years have gone by, and this time I have stayed sober for good so far.
It works if you work it. ☕🚬
© Suzanne M Hall
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