His shuddering breath was the only sound filling the room. When it comes to my heartbeat, I could only feel it pulsating in my head, almost like it was trying to break out.
- Would you have believed me, had I said that? - he asked, his voice shaking and his eyes reddened and watery. Half his face covered with his long hair, all messy and tangled up.
I couldn't reply. The realization of what's been going on absolutely disarmed me.
I noticed those blue bags under his eyes were not just fatigue, visible veins in his eyeballs were not a result of reading too much in lowlight. That his smile was just a facade created to keep everyone out of a war he's been going through.
- Would you have? - he repeated, even more shakily.
First tears fell down his face and immediately dropped on the wooden floor, because he was bent over it.
- I... I don't think... - I stuttered. - I'm not sure...
- You wouldn't - he whined. - Nobody would have - he raised his voice a little bit.
As if complaining, but not expecting anyone to actually help.
- But, this is just... I needed to see all of this first. You couldn't think I would just accept it? - I walked over to him and knelt on the floor, opposite his chair.
- I didn't. I knew it wouldn't work. There was no doubt about it in my head, you see. I was positive I could not tell you, or anybody else for that matter. Because You would think I was insane. - He grasped his hair and aggressively pulled it back. - Can you imagine that? Me telling you you're my wife? - he chuckled, wiping away his tears, because the bottom of his face was dripping with them. - That we used to live together in our house up west? Working for the king?
I bowed my head and took a deep breath. I knew he was right. I'd have laughed at him if he so much as tried.
- I didn't... - I began.
- Remember me? You didn't. I know. I knew the moment you looked at me when you came into the tavern. It was like you couldn't even see me. - He smiled widely, his lips trembling. - And I understood I couldn't just run to you, grab you, and never let you go again. Just take you back. Because you had a whole new life. A whole new love. And it wasn't me. - He propped himself up with his elbow against his knee.
His hair fell and covered his face completely. - You were not mine anymore - he whispered.
I cautiously put my hand atop of his and stroked it. Then decided it was stupid and pulled his hair back again, then dried his face with my sleeve. I had no idea what to say after finding out he had to watch his beloved wife begging for food, then head over hills for another man who broke her heart. And he couldn't just save her and protect her because it would probably hurt her even more, since he didn't have proof. Because it got stolen when he needed it most.
Honestly, the fact Faye found it in Henry's bag was like a miracle. All those letters, notes, and pictures we exchanged throughout 2 years of our married life and all that came before it.
He choked and tried taking a deeper breath. I kept pulling his hair out of the way. It didn't want to obey.
- It's fine, leave it - he said, then covered his face with his hands.
I realized he lost me twice - when I got abducted, and then again when I lost my memory falling down the hill.
- Let me help... - I said faintly, taking my hair tie off my wrist and putting his hair into a tail. - I'm so sorry you had to...
- Not your fault, Nallie. I should've taken you with me to Ocrah. Not leave you alone at home, knowing about the bandits. I should've... - he grasped for air.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight. I could feel he was shivering. He held me back, around the waist, with both his arms. - I missed you - he mumbled. - So much.
I switched one of my hands to his head, letting him soak me in.
It felt so weird, like his body was tailored especially for mine. It was just so oddly comfortable. Good.
He pulled me up and sat me on one of his laps. Then put one of his hands into my hair, then held his soft, warm lips against my forehead and swayed us back and forth.
And then I realized I found my home.




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