There is told to be a old legend that if you chant the words uragashi three times and cut yourself, bleeding your blood on a piece of paper, you can ask for whatever you desire. But what you want comes at a cost, once your wish is granted you suffer great misfortune the rest of your life. This should have been clear for me not to do it but as I layed on the ground in my room chanting uragashi, uragashi, uragashi. I grabbed a razor and cut my arm open and let the blood drip on the paper, and as the final step I said my wish. I wish to be born a girl. Suddenly my body immediately started changing as I felt my face whirling like it was being ripped apart and my body the same. 2 days later I awoke in my room like nothing happened, immediately I rushed to the mirror to see if it worked, I looked in the mirror and I was very beautiful, I had long black hair with freckles and a slender figure, my eyes were forest green as my body was amazing. The wish had worked, I never imagined it would actually work, I looked below into my pants to see if anything else had changed, to my surprise it had I had boobs as well as a vagina. I immediately started getting dressed and began to walk into the living room to greet my parents as the new me, I immediately saw something strange dripping down the stairs as I walked down. It was red. I thought maybe my little sister drew on the wall with crayon, but why is it melting? I continued walking as a horrendous smell I never smelt before strengthened. I saw my sister hanging on a ceiling fan, I immediately ran towards her as I heard her struggling but I couldn't get her out as time went passing from 1 second to five she died. Its my fault, but I can't grieve I cant even feel remorse as I got up walking more around I saw my families body's strung across the room in a bloodied mess, I couldn't cry or even throw up, could this be the effects of the ritual or something deeper, either way i'm a girl now, no more gender dysphoria, no more endless surgeries or suicide attempts of being in and out of a mental instuition. I should get going. I grabbed the car keys and my mom's old purse and left the house to show off the new me. l insert the keys into the car as I try to start it up. The car doesn't move. This was expected I thought so I popped the engine up seeing if I could fix the problem, I see my best friends head in place of the engine, still I'm not even phased by this I close the engine and just walk the houses all look different then they did before I did this and the sky was a bleak red as I felt the heat in the air blistering my skin, I cleared the sweat off my face as I looked down on my hands they were bloody. I was confused on why they were so I opened my phone to my camera to check my face, the face I once saw was no longer there anymore. As well as my body looked malnourished almost if I hadn't ever eaten before. I cried and screamed as I smashed my bloody hands into the ground next to the burning buildings until my hands were nothing but a mangled mess, my bones snapped on the impact of the ground. I got up still tears in my eyes dragging my small starved body down and down as I seen a man covered in blue, I had asked him where we were but he immediately pulled out a weapon and drawn it on me with a traumatizing face screaming useless words about death and people and shot me in my chest. I tried to get up but I realized this was my end until I woke up to what had happened before I died and the same thing repeating over and over again this repetition of this went on and on, is this the price for the wish? I thought, eternal repenting for the lives I had ruined. Useless, people really are petty i thought and tried to force a half grin as I was shot again.

© Chrstna