Hey monster, of a father! Remember how disappointed you was when I was with child at age 19, that you tried to figure out how I could lose him? Guess what!? I'm disappointed in you as well! You was supposed to protect me and show me what a father should be like since the beginning, but you didn't! I wish you could be a father to me, I wish I could know how it actually feels like. But I can't and won't ever know, because you want to be a sick, wicked old man! I don't understand why God let you become my father, when you never was one to me. All the shit I been through in my life, that I don't understand why or how I become so strong from going through all of the pain I had to go through since age 3 to the age I'm now 35. I don't want to leave my boy's behind and I would love to get to see God when it's time for me to go. I know if I took my life, I would hurt the one's that truly loves me and I won't be able to see God and I'll be going straight to hell, not heaven. I want to go to heaven, to be with my real father in heaven. Who really loves me from day one, just like my mother on this earth does. I'm very thankful for my mother who gave birth to me. She is the best mother ever and I'm glad God picked her to be my mother. She showed me love, happiness, protection, all that good stuff then you ever thought of doing for me monster of a father that came from hell! I still haven't heal from everything that you have done to me and things that you have said that is very sick to hear coming from a father's mouth to his only daughter that he not aloud to see, ever again! I wish you could of changed your ways and not follow the person bad behavior for what she has done to you! I been molested, raped and abused in different ways, but I'm not going to follow their wicked ways and I'm not going to follow yours. I'm not going to let that run through my veins, like you and others that what others to feel how it really feels like, by really doing that stuff to others. Fuck that and fuck you MONSTER of a father that you are! I want to do the opposite then you, I want to protect others from going through it! It's very sad and heart breaking to know that others are going through it right now and I wish I could protect them, but I know that I can't and it really hurts. All that I know is that we are the strongest ones that had gone through it, still alive and can tell the truth about it. The one's that has hurt us, they are the weak ones, very very weak!
© Charlotte B.