I turned off the movie, and squeezed my thighs together, knowing what was about to happen, what I was about to do.

The voices in my head told me to stop, but I couldn't, I was addicted, and I couldn't stop.
Then I finished, and immediately I did, the realisation hit me, and guilt immediately filled my heart.

It filled my heart so much, that I couldn't even confess my sin and face my God. I was too embarrassed to pray, I just wanted to slap myself in the face a thousand times.

How many times had I done this?
How many times would I go back to my God, to ask for forgiveness?
I knew what I was doing,but I just couldn't stop.
It was an addiction that I needed to be free of.

When I finally gathered the courage to read my Bible, I came across
1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"

That gave me the courage to face my lord, I confessed what I had done and asked for forgiveness.
I felt happy, but deep inside, I knew I needed help for my addiction.
The only help I could afford at that moment, was God's cost free help.
All I needed to do was ask.

Deep inside, I knew I had the tendency to commit that sin again, but I also knew that God was with me, and that strengthened me.

Little by little, I resist the urge, but at times, I still fall.
But I get back on my feet, and slowly and steadily, I'll win this race.

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