I lay here thinking about you, there's not a single moment that I don't think about you. Your mother calls me a "facebook dad", or "instagram dad" but how else could I make something you could look back on? When I was in jail, all I did was think about you. All my poems probably got lost but when I wasn't thinking about you, I was writing about you. Something I never understood is how some women have children just to act like they're fed up with them merely cause the attention shift they feel. The love I've received from my daughter is in all honesty one of the purest forms of love you can get, it's not the same as the love you get from most people. A father hurts when separated from his child just as much as a mother does, if that hurt isn't present you shouldn't have children. Love has given me such immense pain that I stormed a bottle of old grand dad and sparred with my friend, something you should clearly do when you're present in mind because when you're drunk your coordination is trash. All because I didn't want to feel the pain I've gathered missing you La'reyah. You want to know something though? I still did, when we got done doing the most one sided sparring. Not many could've endured. I cried and my friend held me. Even more evident then my fucked up nose and black eye, my heart was still broke. The only thing that could ever heal that, would be to actually see you and not have you held away from me if I wasn't who your mother wanted me to be, because she clearly doesn't care what her actions say of me. My action's are the only ones that deserved to be questioned even if my actions were purely composed from my aching heart to see you. Your mom wants to feel right, it'd take too much for her to be right. There are parts of your mother that I wouldn't trade for the world and that's watching you two play an genuinely enjoy each other's company, and seeing all the different things she taught you. Just being perplexed about how smart my lil girl is. I don't like hating people but I hate whoever helped make your mother think her ego mattered more than our relationship. They don't answer for their own lives, let alone your life. They weren't there when you'd fall asleep being held by me, they still think like children. If I pick a side even if it's wrong, it's in La'reyah's best interest. I'm in my daughter's best interest! I don't have selfish agendas behind my wants, when we argued your mother went to people to rally about how wrong I was. When she argued with me, I didn't run to the first person that hated her and say "how will we destroy this person?" because after all is said and done. I'll always love you La'reyah!
Love, Dad
P.s. I'd listen to "moon shark" a million times in a row just to see you smile baby girl ❤️

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