...

2 views

My angel comes with paws
⚠️ Contains topic that may trigger negative thoughts ⚠️

#Oneshot

I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night
Fire within my eyes.
I had finally had the courage
To do what I longed to do

I sat up with full determination
Every steps I take is full of unfamiliar vigor
As I headed straight to my destination:
The kitchen, where all the sharpened knives are.

I pointed my supposed salvation
To a very vital part of the body I own,
Ready to plunge it deep, ready to dive into oblivion.

But then..
I heard a whimper.
Curious on what it may be,
Doesn't fear if a ghost awaits me
Or the horror stricken face of my family.

However, I saw neither of them.
What entered my sight, is the image of Maxine.
Hopeless and clueless on why her soulmate
is doing that dangerous move.

To some Max
can be seen only as a dog,
A pet, another creature to feed.

But for me, she's the one who relentlessly stay. When I physically pushed her away.
She's the one who heard my cries from miles away and with no hesitation runs to my side.

As we stare at each others eyes
Memories come crashing into me.
The forceful stay-ins in my bed cause she wants to sleep with me
The constant sound of shuffling behind me, cause she goes wherever I go
And the happy barks and the cutesy dance she did whenever I just got home.

The only soul that is constantly happy to see me.
The very one that I'm about to foolishly leave behind because I let the intrusive thoughts win.

As I think of the days that could happen
If I did the deed, as I imagine Maxine
Waiting by the door as within in her innocent little mind, I'm only away for a short period of time.

As I saw her in my bed, sluggishly lying down, wandering why I never come back.
And it brought me greater pain to think that dogs don't know anything but to love their human.

I don't want max to think me leaving is her fault. Nor do I want her to loyally wait for me to come back when my name's already written on a piece of stone.

So at march 13th, exact 12:45am.
I had found my purpose to continue living.


© Bashful