Chapther 1. My illness.
I have been ill for many years i have wanted to write a book about it.
I have bipolar.
I am depressed and other day im very happy.
I try to cope with my illness.
I read much. Watch films. Write.
But sometimes only lay in bed cry.
Im not married. The illness stop that to.
My illness have controll me for all my life.

Im a Beliver in God so i feel happy in God. Hes my life!!!
But anyway always depressed.
I am sometimes happy. But it dosent last long. Soon is the depression there.

Today it is such a day.

End of chapther 1.



Chapther 2. The evening and The happy moments.

In The evening or should i say nights i feel much better.
Then i know i Can be all alone with God.
I spend many hours all alone. Im not social. Rather The Most unsocial person i know.

But yet i do love peoples.
But my crawing for solitude is to strong so i need much time on my own with God. Then i read The Bible.
Much in The old testamente.
I read The gospel for i want to have Jesus Christ in focus.
But If I dont have The strenght to read i lizzen to an audiobook of The Bible. I have many.
Im a collector of books.
I like books. NO I should rather say I love books.

Its so blissfull to read or lizzen to an audiobook.
My father Nimrod is dead. He died in 2013. He was unhappy too.

I have only my dear Mother left.
Shes my Great friend. She has a cat. Her name is Pellerina.
She is very nice and allmost like my nanny. She takes care of me when im sad and depressed.

When in The nights i lay down she comes and want to be a good friend.
Shes very special cat to me!
In The night i Can allmost hear The silence.

Then i feel alive. Then i feel very good.
I guess that is me. In a nutchell.

I like to have lemon juice beside me in bed.
Thats one of my favorite drinks.

Its good to have fun but is more good to Come near Our heavenly Father in prayer. And in Gods Word.

I like to be alone.
Its me.
Its Who i am.

© Mark