Head in the Clouds
A Book of Poetry,
Rhymes and Random Thoughts
By Matthew Grizzle


Chapter 1
Love is in the Air
( Or is That the Smell of
A Broken Heart?)


-The Scent of You…-

The roses grow
Outside your window
So perfect and delicate to touch
Remind me why I love you so much
A passing breeze softly
Kisses it's petals
And fragrances the air
With the sweetest perfume,
The sweetest that is
When it's not compared
To the beautiful scent of you.

-Searching for You-

I'll search for you
Til the end of time
I'll search for you til the far ends
Of the Earth
When we're together
My soul is happy
When we're apart It hurts
I love you more
than you'll ever know
If you want proof
Just look at me glow
Then you'll know
My love is real
And I pray that this
Is also how you feel
Cause if you ever fall
Out of love with me
It would be my earthly death
The day you stop loving me
I'd draw my dying breath.

-Speeding Bullet-

Another night home alone
I tried calling you but you won't
Answer the phone
I really messed up this time
No matter what I do
You won't change your mind
So I'm going to get
Off my ass
Fill the car with gas
And just drive all night
Til these feelings pass

I'm going to drive all night
To escape my fucked up life
Drive til I can't anymore
The tears fill my eyes
Pacific Coast Highway
Then down the 101
Speeding like a bullet
Til there's nowhere left to run.


-Like When Lightning Strikes…-

My love burns bright
Cuts through the night
A brilliance so bright
Like when lightning strikes

It hits you like thunder
My love takes you under
And over rotundas
Like when lightning strikes

Destructive is my love
If left untamed
A skeleton of a building
Burnt down to the frame
And when there is thunder
There's usually rain

Grey turns the clouds
That blanket the sky
The blue sky can't
Hold back the
Tears so she cries...

My love will
come crashing
An explosion before your eyes
If you don't watch out
It'll catch you by surprise
A love with a radiance
More brilliant than
stars at night
Love is a flash..
Like when lightning strkes

-Since I met You-

I have always been alone
Doing things on my own
Til a chance encounter
Led me to my love
I was left swiping madly
No one seemed to stand out
Then I came across your profile
And my soul began to shout
I was mesmerized by your beauty
And your pictures weren't fake
No filters to add on glamour
A real woman for goodness sake
And I sent you a message
And you replied back
And ever since that blessed day
My life has never been the same
You blessed me with your love
And companionship that I adore
And you given me your heart,
I can't ask for nothing more
But each day you surprise me,
That you're still here by my side
And Its with great happiness
That I announced you as my bride
I never will leave you,
Always be right by your side
You are the moon to my stars
The twinkle in my eyes!
(Dedicated to my wife,
Marlene Grizzle)


-When I think of you..-

When I think of you
I get the biggest smile
The thought of you
Has helped me pass the miles
And hours when we are apart
It's like I'm living
With only half a heart
But your image of beauty
Fills my mind
And the only thing that keeps me going
Is the sound of your gentle
Sweet voice….
Calling me back home.



Chapter 2
Life and all it's
Shenanigans…

-The Lie....Drug Induced
False Sense of Well Being-

Yo I got a story to tell
and how it ends it
doesn't go very well
it's the story of a regular guy
who partied to much
and his brain got fried
like the commercial
"this is your brain on drugs"
I have to shrug
maybe because I was his plug
you see I feel a bit responsible
for his unfortunate demise
he turned into a fiend
right before my eyes
I never once thought he would die
didn't seem like the addictive type
but each time he called
he always wanted more
more than the last time
So I supplied, Is my survival really that big of a crime?

Yo, I need more he said
dropped my dope on the floor
Went straight to my head
Now I am walking outside
plain as day that
I am high
High as a kite
trying not to get stuck
hope I can drive
this pickup truck
gotta get my score
Be careful not to drop
this batch on my shag floor
Said he needed to clear his mind
to much depression just sitting around
he had to keep busy
Seen him all around town
walk for miles around the city
left home in the morning
Got home by 11:50(at night)
then he go and smoke his dope
the only way he knew
how to cope
but the dope got the best of him
and he od'd
leaving behind a wife and kids
Five hungry mouths to feed
it's sad but it happens every day
But there's always
someone else to take his place
In this crazy rat race
Use drugs to keep up the pace
Cause when you fall behind
You get left in the dust
Forgotten like an old car
Stationary collecting rust
No use for society
Fighting is futile..
Give in to conformity
Do illicit drugs
Make laws to legalize
And make catchy slogans like
give drugs not hugs
It will lessen crime
Or so they say
Just one more of the billions
Of lies told to us
Each day!



-An End to Suffering-


Hear me oh Lord
my frail body can't take much more
this sickness has taken its toll
now this malady
is aiming for my soul
but I have faith
that you will carry me home
when I no longer can walk
along this rocky road
lead me to peaceful pastures
take away my pain
consume me with your love
let it shower me like rain
calm my inner spirit
put my soul at ease
let my loved ones left behind
know I'm finally at peace
all my pain has subsided
all my suffering has ceased
this I ask of you oh Lord
Oh hear my prayers please.



-Down and Out-

yo can I get a Holla
for the almighty dolla
I grew up wishing
I'd grow up to be a baller
but my dreams fell flat
and I grew up poor
I slept in the same bed
that I got when I was 4
slept in that same
bed til I was 18
i didn't complain
better days I had seen
but it seemed life dealt us
a shitty fuckin hand
and I had to learn
to accept help from
our the man
it took a lot
to swallow my pride
my face I would hide
so they didn't see
the tears in my eyes
I had a chip
on my shoulder
other people I seen
never new nights
colder
than a crisp christmas day
to keep me warm
in my pajamas I would to lay
and I prayed
and i prayed
each and everyday
for God to deliver us
just show us a way
to escape this
life of poverty
but I guess it was
only a childs
pipe dream
never knew a
life of comfort
never had a real
birthday party
I got old clothes
as presents
that didn't fit my body
my clothes were
used, never new
I had to wear
to school
hand me down girls shoes
that my girl cousins
threw away
but I was happy
just to have anything
my mama tried her
best to provide
she worked 14 hour days
just so we could survive
and mama if you
were still alive
I'd say you did
a great job
I know
that I know that you tried
and I appreciate
everything you did
to provide for
your dying husband
and two hungry kids
great respect goes
out to the moms
and dad's
who never gave up
who went hungry
went without food
themselves
and gave their last morsel
and thier last bean
on the pantry shelf
to make sure
their children ate
no matter how small
the meal was
or how i t came to be
that's the true
Definition of hero
someone who does
anything for their family

Loyalty mama,
you taught me that
I'd do anything
for my family
and closest friends
it's ride or die baby
Til the bitter end
when you're down
you'll find out
who are your
true friends,
when shit goes sour
your friends are there
to save the hour
when you need
a shoulder to cry on
loyalty goes a
long way especially
these days
when our idols
turn their backs
on one another
you money hungry rats
would probably turn
On your own mama
and that's all I got to say
this is the way things are
have a nice fuckin day...


-Dope-


I gotta habit,
more like an addiction
it's my affliction
my reality
it's not fiction
this stain on my well being
got's me seeing
shadow people on the ceiling.
have you ever
had that feeling
that you when you
turn on the light
they're still be there
but when you do
they just disappear
I'm good so I'm
gonna quit
this time for real
I need get some sleep
so I can heal
can't sleep a wink
my attitude stinks
I need to wash
all the dishes in the sink
it's starting to smell
like bloody hell
I need to shower
and take care of myself

-Growing up too Fast-

When I was young
I grew up fast
I seen some guys
cold pull a gat
this poor ass fool
straight got blast
his brains blew out
his head all over the concrete
Right where he stood
just one of the scenes
from my neighborhood
there's plenty more
that I recall
but this songs too short
to tell them all

fast forward to
my years in school
I hung out with
my homies who ruled the school
and we kept it locked
fucked up anybody
who tried to talkshit
to any one of us
if you did that
you must have guts
or maybe you
were even nuts
or missing a few marbles upstairs
cause we'd straight mob
your ass in pairs
and get some scissors
and cut off your hair
if you were lucky
we'd let you leave
with your backpack and
your clothes
al thisl because you
didn't want to be
one of the bros

now I am in
junior high
the secret to middle school
is to survive,
the bullying
and teasing
from the other kids
you had to let them know
who not to fuck with
you and your homies
your little crew
and if they did
you'd meet up after school
at the local
public park
but don't get caught
after dark
cause that's when
the bigger kids
run their gangs
and if you ain't careful
you might get a taste
of how the real G's
handle their shit
end up busted up
or even slit
from ear to ear
depends on if you show them
the respect that they are due
give them your money
or your brand new shoes
and if you don't
well you're screwed
you either leave
the park crawling
on all fours
or in a ambulance
heading for the morgue
it's up to you
how you leave
listen to your parents
you better believe
that the dark holds
many evil things
was it worth it
To find out
How much suffering
man can bring

now highschool
there's another lesson
on how to keep
the fools from stressing
and it's all about
how you are dressing
that will keep the majority
of people guessing
are you hood
or are you good
do you do what
you shouldn't or
What you should
do you smoke cigs
at the farthest part of
school in the back?
where the coaches
teach soccer
and hold track
or did you ditch
and hang at the mall
playing hookie all day
til you got the call
that you intercept
when you got home
and act like your
parents telling them
you're out with a cold
or do you do drugs
with the stoners
and the G's
just cause you want
to fit in
these cliques that you have
to join to survive
the teenage angst
make some kids cry
but not me
I couldn't afford
to be anything less
than hardcore
cause if I didn't
I'd getan ass whipping
that I probably deserved
like poor old Chris C.
and his gang of nerds
that punk bitch deserved
what he got
from 7a.m. to 3 o clock
we gave him hell
the whole year
for snitchin on us
that we drank some beers

now that I'm grown
I think back and laugh
at the shit we did
when we were kids
I laugh at the days
gone by so fast,
and how the memories
last and last
of kids who grew up
way to fast
but this new
generation has no class
no more fist fights
to handle your squabbles
instead the pull
out guns and assault rifles
this generation of
pussies is what is left
because we dropped
the ball on how to
bring them up correct
no manners for adults
they give zero fucks
don't want an honest job
to make a buck
instead they expect a handout
from mom and dad
and that's the way it is
and that's fuckin sad.
the end


-Years of Lies, Ignorance
And Hatred…
We've Sealed our Doom-

Floating through
time and space
we have yet to erase
what taste that was
left by disgrace
we've yet to
reconcile our differences
and put away our pride
and bury our insecurities
deep down inside
we have not learned
from our mistakes
the past has
been re written
how can you learn
from your sins
if all has been forgiven?



Chapter 3

Random Thoughts and
Observations of an Absolutely Clueless Carbon Lifeform…
Otherwise Known as Moi

-I'm Sorry-


We've been through a lot me and you,
that I sometimes take for granted
the little things you do
I sometimes forget to be the patient man I used to be
I get angry and frustrated
but I never meant to make you feel infuriated
I apologize for being a big dick and I know your short
and grumpy cause your sick
I never thought I'd treat you this way for I love my Elena Jay…
Please be patient and I will too for I don't ever want to lose you you're my heart
and that's all I can say
so please forgive me for being this way
Ill try harder at being your loving man
for you are my wife
and I your husband.

Random Thoughts

-My childhood memories growing up in the Central Coast of California-

Writer's note:
A short creative expression to convey a special memory of freshly made chowders and steamed shellfish galore.

The fog rolled in from the sea, and covered the mist blanketed harbours and docks of the Monterey Bay Fisherman's Wharf,
Just liike steam coming off the the big black pots of boiling dungeness crab.
Oh how I miss the heavenly aromas coming from Abalonetti's Seafood Trattoria on the famous Monterey Fisherman's Wharf.

I can remember tasting the samples of freshly made clam chowder. A whole two sides of the pier had vendors peddling and barking their proudfull boasting if having the best chowder in the whole continental U.S.
Some were great and some not so great.
My favorite as a boy was the original Sabu Sheiks " Old Fisherman's Grotto "
They had hands down the best clam chowder in the world, according to this young man's honest but biased opinion.
Thinking back on it, I was a very lucky kid, 7years of age,
lucky but very poor. I was lucky of where I happened to be raised in a place, touched by the very hand of God. I was able to partake in the bountiful delicacies and riches that the Central Coast of California had and still has to offer. My dream is to one day take my wife to my old stomping grounds and show her what makes me the person who stands before her.

Matty's Rhyme Corner

-God..The Real O.G-

When you see me coming
can you tell by the look in my eyes
that I have no fear of dying
I've got God on my side
Rollin thru the east side
in my G Ride
that's my godly ride
The C-10 truck
The he so kindly provide

Jumpin in the G-ride
it's testimony time
about how I
tossed aside pride
and made room
for the Holy Spirit to reside
inside my cold dead heart
but it's a start
walking beside Jesus
from his path I'll
never part
never leave my heart...
never leave my heart!..
never leave my heart!..
never leave my heart!..

The worldly bystanders
all really hate us
but we don't care about
what others think about us
we are witnessing to
the lost and fallen
I'd rather have
riches in heaven
rather be suffering
On this earth ballin!
(Can you hear him callin?)

jump in the G-ride
it's my hard luck story time
And how I sat aside my pride
and let the holy spirit reside
in my cold and selfish heart
but It's a start
hand in hand with Jesus
from his path I'll never part
from my heart he'll never part
never part.....
never part.....

Don't leave my house
unless I'm strapped
but not with a gat
I have my bible tucked
in my backpack
ready to pull out the knowledge
of god on a lost
brother or sister
you don't like me testifying?
take it up
with God Mister!
cause if you got
a problem
you probably need it too
the word of god
is our battle armour
works like a charm
to protect our souls
from being attacked
or badly harmed
jump in the G-ride
it's my hard luck story time
And how I sat aside my pride
and let the holy spirit reside
in my cold and selfish heart
but It's a start
hand in hand with Jesus
from his path I'll never part
from my heart he'll never part
never part.....
never part.....


More Rhyme Action for You

-SO FRESH-

WHAT'S UP? THIS AIN'T TIC TOK
IM MATT HOODLUM AND I CAME TO ROCK
I'LL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF
WHEN I BUST A RHYME
YOU KNOW IT'S NOT A KNOCKOFF
CAUSE I COME CORRECT
WHEN I'M IN THE MIC
I DON'T CRY TO MOMMIE
CAUSE I'M NOT A TYKE
I DON'T NEED TO BE TOLD
HOW TO RAP
ESPECIALLY BY A M.C. WHO'S RHYMES ARE CRAP
I GET DOWN WITH THE BEST
I KEEP YOU MOVIN
AND I GOT A FRESH STYLE
TO KEEP YOU GROOVIN
I EAT OTHER RAPPER'S UP
LIKE I ATE THEIR FRIES
AND NOBODY'S RHYMES
COMPARE TO MINE
I KNOCK THEM OUTTA THE PARK
AND THATS NO FUCKIN LIE

CAUSE I'M A RAP GOD
I GOT A DAD BOD
DON'T FALL ASLEEP
OR EVEN NOD
SO GET YOUR FEET MOVIN
AS THE CROWD IS GROOVIN
I GOT THE BASS LINES
TO KEEP YOUR BODY MOVIN


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