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How Huge That Room Is!
I learned my lessons very well. Thats why I took with me my new little red rubber slippers to school. I knew since yesterday, in my mind this day is gonna be the best day!
But you know, just when you knew you have learned your lessons and adjusted a little ... confidently you had obey your parents and please them for their approval, next thing you know, there is another thing about you that they will scold you about.
Mom gets angry when I soaked my black shiny shoes in the rain water and flood. But still, she gets angry , again! , when I used my new little red rubber slippers as I play in the flood and rain after school!
"Did I really learned my lesson yesterday when she scold me?" I havent asked myself this question. I havent yet grasp her point. All I can hear in my heart, implicitly it kickstarted: 'There is another way to enjoy the rain and flood of the day!' How strong-willed that inner kid inside me.
See how foolishness is tied in the hearts of young ones like me. All Im about is to play. That's all I think. Writing this helped me be reminded of the details of gradeschool rain - before I play with Joeben in our school's auditorium's stairs today, there was other mom in school who got annoyed in me.
She disgustingly expressed her annoyance as she saw me playing in the eight-inch flood in school campus. I happily walk in the flood, unaware how dirty was it. I didnt care, and I didnt mind that lady. Maybe she , too, doesnt let her children play in the flood wearing their black school shoes. Oh I remembered, how nostalgic, how I dont care about people and their opinion of me and my foolish actions.
Little did I know that I will grew up as a chronic people pleaser someday. Too concerned of imagined scenarios of how might people think of me. Little did I know that the introverted coward semi-bully child me will change as years go by.
I'm telling you, bullies are but frustrated, broken, traumatized, foolish inexperienced emotionally suppressed breathing creature. No, I dont want to justify our actions. Just so you know, we reign at school like July's rain reigning in school campus in dark gray gloomy weather. With our false sense of power.
Our home is chaos. Still I run to it for solitude. Little did I know that when I will turn into grade three next year, mom will allow good strangers to teach me about manners, good conduct, and right love towards neighbor. Towards people.
My people pleasing skills is different. I still dont know in grade two who taught me to lose my boundaries and be an unbalanced bully. Good thing, something turned my innocent badness into something less harmful.
Yes, I think, people pleasing is less harmful that violent bullying.
Again, just when you knew you have learned your lessons and adjusted a little ... confidently you had obey your parents and please them for their approval, next thing you know, there is another thing about you that they will scold you about.
We all have room for improvement. Oh tell me how huge that room is! Too big for me to comprehend. Bigger than the school auditorium for sure.
Hey, I'm not so affected emotionally when mom scold me again why I played in the flood and rain AGAIN today. I dont understand that she only wants me NOT to get sick. That's all that it is. She dont want me to get fever. That's all I know. And she haven't told me then about leptospirosis.
____
Series : Grade School Rain
© Versifiable
acrylic painting by Mike Barr
But you know, just when you knew you have learned your lessons and adjusted a little ... confidently you had obey your parents and please them for their approval, next thing you know, there is another thing about you that they will scold you about.
Mom gets angry when I soaked my black shiny shoes in the rain water and flood. But still, she gets angry , again! , when I used my new little red rubber slippers as I play in the flood and rain after school!
"Did I really learned my lesson yesterday when she scold me?" I havent asked myself this question. I havent yet grasp her point. All I can hear in my heart, implicitly it kickstarted: 'There is another way to enjoy the rain and flood of the day!' How strong-willed that inner kid inside me.
See how foolishness is tied in the hearts of young ones like me. All Im about is to play. That's all I think. Writing this helped me be reminded of the details of gradeschool rain - before I play with Joeben in our school's auditorium's stairs today, there was other mom in school who got annoyed in me.
She disgustingly expressed her annoyance as she saw me playing in the eight-inch flood in school campus. I happily walk in the flood, unaware how dirty was it. I didnt care, and I didnt mind that lady. Maybe she , too, doesnt let her children play in the flood wearing their black school shoes. Oh I remembered, how nostalgic, how I dont care about people and their opinion of me and my foolish actions.
Little did I know that I will grew up as a chronic people pleaser someday. Too concerned of imagined scenarios of how might people think of me. Little did I know that the introverted coward semi-bully child me will change as years go by.
I'm telling you, bullies are but frustrated, broken, traumatized, foolish inexperienced emotionally suppressed breathing creature. No, I dont want to justify our actions. Just so you know, we reign at school like July's rain reigning in school campus in dark gray gloomy weather. With our false sense of power.
Our home is chaos. Still I run to it for solitude. Little did I know that when I will turn into grade three next year, mom will allow good strangers to teach me about manners, good conduct, and right love towards neighbor. Towards people.
My people pleasing skills is different. I still dont know in grade two who taught me to lose my boundaries and be an unbalanced bully. Good thing, something turned my innocent badness into something less harmful.
Yes, I think, people pleasing is less harmful that violent bullying.
Again, just when you knew you have learned your lessons and adjusted a little ... confidently you had obey your parents and please them for their approval, next thing you know, there is another thing about you that they will scold you about.
We all have room for improvement. Oh tell me how huge that room is! Too big for me to comprehend. Bigger than the school auditorium for sure.
Hey, I'm not so affected emotionally when mom scold me again why I played in the flood and rain AGAIN today. I dont understand that she only wants me NOT to get sick. That's all that it is. She dont want me to get fever. That's all I know. And she haven't told me then about leptospirosis.
____
Series : Grade School Rain
© Versifiable
acrylic painting by Mike Barr
