0 views
The sense of I am
𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗘 𝗢𝗙 : 𝗜 𝗔𝗠 : தமிழில்
NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ
Questioner: It is a matter of daily experience that upon waking up, the world suddenly appears. Where does it come from?
Maharaj: Before anything can appear, there must be someone to whom it appears. All appearances and disappearances presuppose a changeless background against which they occur.
Q: Before waking up, I was unconscious.
M: In what sense? Did you forget, or did you not experience at all? Even in unconsciousness, do you not exist? Can you exist without knowing? A lapse in memory is not proof of non-existence.
Can you genuinely speak of your own non-existence as an actual experience? You cannot even assert that your mind did not exist. For instance, didn’t you wake up when called? And upon waking, wasn’t it the sense of "I am" that arose first? Even during sleep or unconsciousness, a seed of consciousness must persist.
When you wake up, the experience is: I am the body in the world. Though it may seem to arise in sequence, it is actually a single idea—a simultaneous awareness of having a body and existing in the world. But can there be the sense of "I am" without being somebody?
Q: I am always somebody, with memories and habits. I know no other "I am."
M: Perhaps something prevents you from knowing. When others know something you don’t, what do you do?
Q: I seek the source of their knowledge under their guidance.
M: Isn’t it important to know whether you are merely a body or something more—or perhaps nothing at all? All your problems—food, clothing, shelter, family, friends, name, fame, security—are the body’s problems. These concerns lose their meaning when you realize you may not be the body.
Q: What benefit is there in knowing I am not the body?
M: Even saying "I am not the body" is not entirely accurate. In a way, you are all bodies, all hearts, all minds—and much more. To discover this, delve deeply into the sense of "I am."
How do you find something you’ve lost? You hold it in mind until you recall it. Similarly, focus on the sense of "I am." Ask yourself where it comes from, or simply observe it. When your mind rests in the "I am" without distraction, you enter a state beyond words but rich in experience.
The sense of "I am" is always with you, but you’ve attached it to numerous things—body, feelings, thoughts, possessions. These attachments mislead you into believing you are what you are not.
Q: Then what am I?
M: It is enough to know what you are not. You don’t need to define what you are. As long as knowledge relies on descriptions of what is known, there can be no true self-knowledge. What you are cannot be described; it can only be known through negation: I am not this, I am not that.
You cannot meaningfully say, "This is what I am," because anything perceivable or imaginable cannot be you. Yet without you, there can be no perception or imagination.
You observe your heart feeling, your mind thinking, your body acting. The very act of observing shows you are not what you observe. Can perception or experience exist without you? An experience requires an experiencer. Without one, it has no reality.
Q: Is the sense of being an experiencer—the sense of "I am"—also an experience?
M: Of course. Everything experienced is an experience. In every experience, there arises an experiencer. Memory creates the illusion of continuity, but in reality, each experience has its own experiencer.
The sense of identity arises because of the common factor underlying all experiencer-experience relationships. Identity and continuity are not the same. Just as each flower has its unique color but all colors exist because of the same light, so do many experiences arise in the indivisible awareness. Each is distinct in memory, but identical in...
NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ
Questioner: It is a matter of daily experience that upon waking up, the world suddenly appears. Where does it come from?
Maharaj: Before anything can appear, there must be someone to whom it appears. All appearances and disappearances presuppose a changeless background against which they occur.
Q: Before waking up, I was unconscious.
M: In what sense? Did you forget, or did you not experience at all? Even in unconsciousness, do you not exist? Can you exist without knowing? A lapse in memory is not proof of non-existence.
Can you genuinely speak of your own non-existence as an actual experience? You cannot even assert that your mind did not exist. For instance, didn’t you wake up when called? And upon waking, wasn’t it the sense of "I am" that arose first? Even during sleep or unconsciousness, a seed of consciousness must persist.
When you wake up, the experience is: I am the body in the world. Though it may seem to arise in sequence, it is actually a single idea—a simultaneous awareness of having a body and existing in the world. But can there be the sense of "I am" without being somebody?
Q: I am always somebody, with memories and habits. I know no other "I am."
M: Perhaps something prevents you from knowing. When others know something you don’t, what do you do?
Q: I seek the source of their knowledge under their guidance.
M: Isn’t it important to know whether you are merely a body or something more—or perhaps nothing at all? All your problems—food, clothing, shelter, family, friends, name, fame, security—are the body’s problems. These concerns lose their meaning when you realize you may not be the body.
Q: What benefit is there in knowing I am not the body?
M: Even saying "I am not the body" is not entirely accurate. In a way, you are all bodies, all hearts, all minds—and much more. To discover this, delve deeply into the sense of "I am."
How do you find something you’ve lost? You hold it in mind until you recall it. Similarly, focus on the sense of "I am." Ask yourself where it comes from, or simply observe it. When your mind rests in the "I am" without distraction, you enter a state beyond words but rich in experience.
The sense of "I am" is always with you, but you’ve attached it to numerous things—body, feelings, thoughts, possessions. These attachments mislead you into believing you are what you are not.
Q: Then what am I?
M: It is enough to know what you are not. You don’t need to define what you are. As long as knowledge relies on descriptions of what is known, there can be no true self-knowledge. What you are cannot be described; it can only be known through negation: I am not this, I am not that.
You cannot meaningfully say, "This is what I am," because anything perceivable or imaginable cannot be you. Yet without you, there can be no perception or imagination.
You observe your heart feeling, your mind thinking, your body acting. The very act of observing shows you are not what you observe. Can perception or experience exist without you? An experience requires an experiencer. Without one, it has no reality.
Q: Is the sense of being an experiencer—the sense of "I am"—also an experience?
M: Of course. Everything experienced is an experience. In every experience, there arises an experiencer. Memory creates the illusion of continuity, but in reality, each experience has its own experiencer.
The sense of identity arises because of the common factor underlying all experiencer-experience relationships. Identity and continuity are not the same. Just as each flower has its unique color but all colors exist because of the same light, so do many experiences arise in the indivisible awareness. Each is distinct in memory, but identical in...
