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Eseniy Verkhovets and the Five Winged Hedgehogs
Starring the Instagram Football sensation: Eseniy Verkhovets - @eseniy_verkhovets13
Once upon a time there was a very gravy, Artsy and virtuous football playing 8-year-old boy from Moscow, Russia named Eseniy Verkhovets. He was on the way to see his mum galiba shapovalova, when he decided to take a short cut through Alyoshkinskiy Forest.
It wasn't long before Eseniy got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his book bag for his favourite toy, Playdough, but the Playdough was nowhere to be found! Eseniy began to panic. He felt sure he had packed the Playdough. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a winged hedgehog dressed in a Fight Wear: Red Hardcore Training Cyberviking Rashguard Pants Matched With Teal Hardcore Training Cyberviking Compression Pants, disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Eseniy.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed hedgehog. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Eseniy reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from Mangos, a house made from cupcakes, a house made from sweets, a house made from Hamburger And French fries, a house made from chocolates and a house made from pizzas.
Eseniy could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Привет!" he called. "Есть там кто-нибудь?"
Nobody replied.
Eseniy looked at the roof on the nearest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of want.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Eseniy a fright. A sorceress jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was the Playdough!
"Пластилин!" shouted Eseniy. He turned to the sorceress. "Привет! Это моя игрушка!"
The sorceress just shrugged.
"Дайте Пластилин назад!" cried Eseniy.
"Not on your chinny chin chin!" said the sorceress.
"По крайней мере, выпустите Playdough из этой клетки!"
Before she could reply, five winged hedgehogs rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Eseniy recognised the one in the Blue Fight Wear: Hardcore Training Cyberviking Rashguard Pants With Hardcore Training Cyberviking Compression Pants that he'd seen earlier. The sorceress seemed to recognise him too.
"So nice of you to drop in Big Hedgehog," said the sorceress.
"Good morning." The hedgehog noticed Playdough. "Who is this?"
"That's Playdough," explained the sorceress.
"Ooh! Playdough would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the hedgehog.
The sorceress shook her head. "Playdough is staying with me, for after a spell of multiplication is cast, we will build another edition to this territory with playdough."
"Эм ... Простите ..." Eseniy interrupted. "Пластилин живет со мной! И не в клетке!"
Big Hedgehog ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the sorceress.
The sorceress thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Hedgehog looked at the house made from pizzas and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from pizzas if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next hedgehog. "I could eat two houses."
"It's not necessary to show off," said the sorceress. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have the Playdough."
Eseniy watched, feeling very anxious. He didn't want the sorceress to give the Playdough to Big Hedgehog. He didn't think the Playdough would like living with a winged hedgehog, away from his house and all his other fruitful toys.
The other four hedgehogs watched while Big Hedgehog put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Big Hedgehog squished his finger in the frosting of the front door of the house made from cupcakes, and holds it up to his lips. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Hedgehog started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of cupcakes, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Hedgehog.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from cupcakes and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
Average Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from sweets.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Average Hedgehog licked his finger and swipped it across the delightful coating of the front door of the house made from sweets. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Hedgehog started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a hedgehog!" said Average Hedgehog.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Hedgehog, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the hedgehog away under his arm.
Average Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from sweets and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
Little Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from Hamburger And French fries.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Little Hedgehog pulled off a piece of the front door of the house made from Hamburger And French fries. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Hedgehog started to fidget uncomfortably on the scene.
He stopped eating Hamburger And French fries for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Hedgehog into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Hedgehog. "I'm scared of heighhhh..."
Little Hedgehog was never seen again.
Little Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from Hamburger And French fries and the Playdough remained a prisoner in the sorceress' cage.
Tiny Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from chocolates.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Tiny Hedgehog scooped out a chocolly chunk of the front door of the house made from chocolates. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Hedgehog's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of chocolates, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.
"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Hedgehog, and stomped off into the forest.
Tiny Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
Even-Tinier Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from pizzas.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Even-Tinier Hedgehog tore off a piece of the front door of the house made from pizzas. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Suddenly, Even-Tinier Hedgehog stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Pizzas! Watch me eat all the pizzas!"
"It looks as though the pizzas are making you hyperactive," laughed the sorceress'.
"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Hedgehog. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.
Bong!
Even-Tinier Hedgehog banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.
Even-Tinier Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from pizzas and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
"That's it," said the sorceress. "I win. I get to keep the Playdough."
"Не так быстро," said Eseniy. "Осталось пройти еще через одну входную дверь. Входная дверь в дом из манго. И у меня еще не было очереди."
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the sorceress. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the sorceress. "But you saw what happened to the hedgehogs. He won't last long."
"Я скоро вернусь," said Eseniy.
"What?" said the sorceress. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted the Playdough back."
Eseniy ignored the sorceress and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from Mangos and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked to make fried mangos and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Eseniy sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the sorceress. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"Я не закончил ," explained Eseniy. "Я просто жду, когда закончится моя еда."
When Eseniy's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from Mangos. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Eseniy was down to the final piece of the door made from Mangos. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Eseniy had eaten the entire front door of the house made from Mangos.
The sorceress stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over the Playdough or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The sorceress looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Eseniy hurried over and grabbed the Playdough as it wobbied out in a sleaver, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Playdough was unharmed.
Eseniy thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet galiba. It was starting to get dark.
When Eseniy got to galiba's house, his mum threw his arms around him.
"я так волновался!" cried galiba. "Ты очень опоздал."
As Eseniy described his day, he could tell that galiba didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"Что это?" asked galiba.
Eseniy unrolled a doorknob made from cupcakes. "Пудинг!" he said.
galiba almost fell off her chair.
The End
© Joel Peter Brown
Once upon a time there was a very gravy, Artsy and virtuous football playing 8-year-old boy from Moscow, Russia named Eseniy Verkhovets. He was on the way to see his mum galiba shapovalova, when he decided to take a short cut through Alyoshkinskiy Forest.
It wasn't long before Eseniy got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his book bag for his favourite toy, Playdough, but the Playdough was nowhere to be found! Eseniy began to panic. He felt sure he had packed the Playdough. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a winged hedgehog dressed in a Fight Wear: Red Hardcore Training Cyberviking Rashguard Pants Matched With Teal Hardcore Training Cyberviking Compression Pants, disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Eseniy.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed hedgehog. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Eseniy reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from Mangos, a house made from cupcakes, a house made from sweets, a house made from Hamburger And French fries, a house made from chocolates and a house made from pizzas.
Eseniy could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Привет!" he called. "Есть там кто-нибудь?"
Nobody replied.
Eseniy looked at the roof on the nearest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of want.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Eseniy a fright. A sorceress jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was the Playdough!
"Пластилин!" shouted Eseniy. He turned to the sorceress. "Привет! Это моя игрушка!"
The sorceress just shrugged.
"Дайте Пластилин назад!" cried Eseniy.
"Not on your chinny chin chin!" said the sorceress.
"По крайней мере, выпустите Playdough из этой клетки!"
Before she could reply, five winged hedgehogs rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Eseniy recognised the one in the Blue Fight Wear: Hardcore Training Cyberviking Rashguard Pants With Hardcore Training Cyberviking Compression Pants that he'd seen earlier. The sorceress seemed to recognise him too.
"So nice of you to drop in Big Hedgehog," said the sorceress.
"Good morning." The hedgehog noticed Playdough. "Who is this?"
"That's Playdough," explained the sorceress.
"Ooh! Playdough would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the hedgehog.
The sorceress shook her head. "Playdough is staying with me, for after a spell of multiplication is cast, we will build another edition to this territory with playdough."
"Эм ... Простите ..." Eseniy interrupted. "Пластилин живет со мной! И не в клетке!"
Big Hedgehog ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the sorceress.
The sorceress thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Hedgehog looked at the house made from pizzas and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from pizzas if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next hedgehog. "I could eat two houses."
"It's not necessary to show off," said the sorceress. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have the Playdough."
Eseniy watched, feeling very anxious. He didn't want the sorceress to give the Playdough to Big Hedgehog. He didn't think the Playdough would like living with a winged hedgehog, away from his house and all his other fruitful toys.
The other four hedgehogs watched while Big Hedgehog put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Big Hedgehog squished his finger in the frosting of the front door of the house made from cupcakes, and holds it up to his lips. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Hedgehog started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of cupcakes, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Hedgehog.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from cupcakes and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
Average Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from sweets.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Average Hedgehog licked his finger and swipped it across the delightful coating of the front door of the house made from sweets. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Hedgehog started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a hedgehog!" said Average Hedgehog.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Hedgehog, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the hedgehog away under his arm.
Average Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from sweets and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
Little Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from Hamburger And French fries.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Little Hedgehog pulled off a piece of the front door of the house made from Hamburger And French fries. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Hedgehog started to fidget uncomfortably on the scene.
He stopped eating Hamburger And French fries for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Hedgehog into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Hedgehog. "I'm scared of heighhhh..."
Little Hedgehog was never seen again.
Little Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from Hamburger And French fries and the Playdough remained a prisoner in the sorceress' cage.
Tiny Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from chocolates.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Tiny Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Tiny Hedgehog scooped out a chocolly chunk of the front door of the house made from chocolates. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
However, on the next mouthful, the food fell straight out of Tiny Hedgehog's mouth. She tried to stuff in another forkful of chocolates, but once again, the food fell out. There just wasn't enough room left in her belly.
"This is just not fair!" declared Tiny Hedgehog, and stomped off into the forest.
Tiny Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
Even-Tinier Hedgehog stepped up, and approached the house made from pizzas.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Even-Tinier Hedgehog. "Just you watch!"
Even-Tinier Hedgehog tore off a piece of the front door of the house made from pizzas. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Suddenly, Even-Tinier Hedgehog stopped eating and started dancing. While he danced, he sang at the top of his lungs, "Pizzas! Watch me eat all the pizzas!"
"It looks as though the pizzas are making you hyperactive," laughed the sorceress'.
"Oh no they're not!" cried Even-Tinier Hedgehog. "I'm always this excited." With that, he walked into a tree.
Bong!
Even-Tinier Hedgehog banged his head and fell backwards onto his bottom. He passed out, exhausted.
Even-Tinier Hedgehog never finished eating the front door made from pizzas and the Playdough remained a captive in the sorceress' cage.
"That's it," said the sorceress. "I win. I get to keep the Playdough."
"Не так быстро," said Eseniy. "Осталось пройти еще через одну входную дверь. Входная дверь в дом из манго. И у меня еще не было очереди."
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the sorceress. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the sorceress. "But you saw what happened to the hedgehogs. He won't last long."
"Я скоро вернусь," said Eseniy.
"What?" said the sorceress. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted the Playdough back."
Eseniy ignored the sorceress and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from Mangos and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked to make fried mangos and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Eseniy sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the sorceress. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"Я не закончил ," explained Eseniy. "Я просто жду, когда закончится моя еда."
When Eseniy's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from Mangos. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Eseniy was down to the final piece of the door made from Mangos. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Eseniy had eaten the entire front door of the house made from Mangos.
The sorceress stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over the Playdough or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The sorceress looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Eseniy hurried over and grabbed the Playdough as it wobbied out in a sleaver, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Playdough was unharmed.
Eseniy thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet galiba. It was starting to get dark.
When Eseniy got to galiba's house, his mum threw his arms around him.
"я так волновался!" cried galiba. "Ты очень опоздал."
As Eseniy described his day, he could tell that galiba didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"Что это?" asked galiba.
Eseniy unrolled a doorknob made from cupcakes. "Пудинг!" he said.
galiba almost fell off her chair.
The End
© Joel Peter Brown
