feb 4...day 4...
18 days to go.. ....
I dont need this... after feb 23....
It's for my sister I'm writing today…..
##hopeneversubdue
#polytalesfeb



"What u said to me shouldn't happen to anyone...and i pray that the almighty one may give the strength to pass the troubles you encounter now…."

As victor frank, in his book MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING …..
"U CAN PLUNDER ALL I HAVE BUT NEVER MY ESTEEM,MY DIGNITY, ITS MY PRIDE."

so.. I give u what I have.. my trust, love and presence of support by words...... and this "ARE MY SHATTERED THOUGHTS , AND I KNOW THEY ARE INCOMPLETE, AND IN IT CRUDE FORM……
BUT I THINK THIS INCOMPLETENESS MAY HEAL AT LEAST SOME BROKEN HEARTS"


Sorry I am a writer, who writes by the things affected by him. Either emotionally, physically
Or mentally……

Sorry i can t keep the logic flow i had in the past few days….

Today i will speak of a state when i went depressed, to the point of death…( yesterday as i said i faced death three times in my life…. Three times i was miraculously saved)
And three times i had encountered abuse……

This i speak for a little soul whom i met today. She needs to know this SURVIVOR STORY.

"IF I AM ALIVE TO SPEAK THIS STORY TO YOU, I HAVE ENCOUNTERED THE WORST LIFE COULD GIFT…"

DONT WORRY SIS, SEE WHAT IT MADE ME …..AN ANGELIC HEART, WITH NEVER FAILING HOPE……

THE TIME U PASS IS HARD BUT NEVER LET THE FAITH AND HOPE IN YOU TO BE BROKEN……


A POET'S TRIBUTE TO PAIN AND SUFFERINGS


I hated you as much i exist
It was a evil hell
This mental torture,
But it was required
To purify me
Of BODY , MIND AND SOUL……


WHEN we fall into depression , nothing in the world is attractive, can you believe it was just
My feelings and inability to communicate with my family that made me depressed at the age of 16…..

I flet death was only way to ecape of this mental torture…….
Even though I was ready to make that attempt, when I was all ready to commit it, my mother came from nowhere…….
She just sat with me……..
It cooled me…...I told her what was troubling me and what I was upto……….
She did not scold me...but just give her loving presence and touch….
It was only required to bring back the hope I lost…..


To know how I reached such a depressed state …..
U should know three emotional wounds i was hounded by…..


It can't be called exactly as abuse……
But it was more terrible the way my mind took these wounds…

So I was down at a junction of my life with these wounds….


First one was an inappropriate touch to an opposite gender…
I was asked to , and i did it, but when i grown up
It shook me about the way I was asked…..

IT WAS JUST A TOUCH, THAT HOUNDE ME AS A UNPARDONABLE GUILT
FOR OVER A TWENTY YEARS.
AND THE HEALING PART HAPPENED , WHEN I WAS AGAIN TOUCHED BY LOVE..

And I am not a good writer, my writings too started when I was touched by love…
Which leads me to a light of greater truth….




Second one I was able to resist and I dared to say no…
It was from the same gender, some more older than me…..



So i can easily recognize...predators……..
They come with good smiles to destroy our inner peace.

Third one
( it happened when i was wandering as a beggar and the one who seek job for one month)
I was approached by a man, he told me he will help me.. But his approach was not nice…
Though he said he will help , he wanted a return….my presence in his home when his wife and children are away on the weekends……


As i said these are shattered pieces and I am healed of these memories…...
But when i was healed i was awakened of love to such an extent i can't HATE anyone….


Sorry in this write up I may miss many things if anyone likes anything more….
Ask me i shall answer…..

Because never shall I be afraid to speak of my scars , it had its part of making me pure, gentle and firm……..











© believer