Has It ever occurs to you that people are most likely happy with you when you can do something for them, at least some people are like that.

I feel like I'm trap in a world among people's who are only happy when I can do something for them, when I can give something, when I can help them out. I do not understand it. I do not understand anything.

I'm hurting, I'm hurting by the way I'm being treated at times. Do you not see my pain, do you not hear me crying? My heart has been broken a thousands times. A thousands shattering pieces of glasses is hard to fine. Do you not see my heart bleeding?

I have yet to figure out what I want, what I need. Happiness seems to escape me when I was born. But how can that be! All I ever wanted is to be happy, but instead I had been going from home to home.

Each home started off good, until somewhere everyone starts to treat me like I'm a virus. Harsh words are thrown at me, hatred describe many of those eyes, abuse and neglect.

Was I made to feel pain, is there anyone out there who knows my name. I did everything they wanted me to do, I did as I was told, yet I'm not good enough, I will never be good enough.

I used to be a bright, outspoken, intelligent girl, now I'm just a broken mirror. Everyone pick up a piece of me, just to look at their selves, but throw me down when they are finish.

No one sees my pain, no one feels my pain. I'm human too. I'm a person, I had my career planned out, but circumstances with families says otherwise. I always thought I was a great person, that I could fill the mind of persons who are sad, making them happy. How can I make someone happy, when I'm a wreck.

Staring at myself in the mirror, all I'm seeing are scars, pain, a lost soul. What is so wrong!! I do not understand, I cannot understand. Stranger see me walking with a bright smile, beautiful smiles, but they don't know my pain. It's a mask. A mask to stop people from asking me questions, a mask to keep everyone out.

There are few times in my life where I find myself happy, but it does not last for long. It's like I'm compelled to serve, nothing more. Why are you unhappy with me if I say no, why do you sham me when I speak up, why do you put me down for being who I am?

Why can't I get what I need, what I deserve, why can't I be love the way I want to be love. Am I not a person!

They see me, but they don't know my pain.
© Tenisha Sterling