A ridiculous comedy.

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Once upon a time there lived a 16 year old girl named Isla. She stayed in Scotland - it was the 1750's. Her home was an abandoned castle and she, herself, an orphan. She was black eyed, black haired, daintily built and extraordinarily attractive. Every boy who ever saw her liked what he saw, but she had no romantic interest in anyone ... only in food.

That's right. She had limerent feelings and a sexual fascination with and for food. The sweet kind, to be exact. Donuts and cupcakes, biscuits and jellies... those were her intimate "loves", or rather, boyfriends. At least she was straight.

She usually gobbled them down in secret. At midnight, when no one would ever see and know, she would rob beggars and kings from their luxurious or poor mouth wealth. She did not want anyone to know of her existence. Not because of that. But because of something else.

She had a reason for loving food more than anything else.

No one knew what had happened to her parents - what caused their death - but one boy knew she had lost them at age 4 and they certainly were not royal nor of wealthy descent. Her most loyal suitor, the only one of whose existence she took note of, was named Gabriel and he loved her even more than he loved exploring crime, haunted houses and foreign lands.

Isla only took note of Gabriel's existence because he brought her gifts. Food, to be exact. He was a distant cousin of hers, but Isla disagreed with that, saying that if donuts were her husband, then they were her family and she had no need for anyone else in her life.

He also sent her secret love notes which she kissed and clutched to her heart if they had cupcake stamps on them and tore into shreds and burnt if they didn't. He was convinced they were meant to be together, but Isla stated that he...