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3 in love
3 is not only my favorite number but also the amount of people I love intimately, emotionally, and mentally connect with. They each fill apart of me and when I try to be "normal" and try to stop thinking about the other 2 while I'm with my spouse of 10yrs and our 3 children.
Why isn't my family enough for me?
Why isn't my spouse enough for me?
Why isn't 1 person's love good enough for me?
I could ask why all day but it's not helping me and I can't unloved who I'm in love with. I've gotten dumped by one of my lovers, he's not wanting to stay connected and continue with our relationship due to not wanting or understanding to share me. I'm deeply hurt because the emotional connection is still there and now I have to grieve a lost love. I'm not trying to connect with anyone else I emotionally couldn't handle because I stay loyal to the ones I love I don't break it and go find another I patiently wait for my love to return and I feel whole again.
My soul and heart are at rest knowing I've told him how I truly felt about our relationship and know that it might be the end for now but a refreshing thing coming out of this.
My spouse is always number 1 because we created life together, our connection is off the charts and I honestly believe he's my soul mate and my twin flame. We definitely have that yin and yang balance in our relationship but this he knows nothing about. This God knows everything about me from childhood trauma to present-day struggles and achievements but this he has no clue about and I wouldn't know how to approach this. I'm afraid I break his heart so bad that I lose him forever and his piece within me would be major damage for me. I don't know if I'll be able to junction even though I've been mentally preparing myself for this scenario I logistically don't want it to ever happen. If we don't make out being back into a relationship, my soul would accept us remaining friends with benefits. I know I sound selfish but as I said before I can't help who I love and fighting it is only blocking the alignment of my chakras.
My second love is a guy who was sent to me during a time I felt betrayed and alone. He was such a gentleman to me always. He knows a lot about me and we even shared the loss of our baby which still hurts to this date and I was angry with myself for how I went about things dealing with this pregnancy. I forgave myself but it still does hurt. A pain we both haven't gotten over together fully. He is an American warrior fighting this country's battle and his own. I love this guy be brought out the best in me and I brought out the worst turning him into a monster that I created being so selfish and blindsided. It will probably never be together again because of all the damage I've caused but I truly hope we become friends. (I'm crying as I type this because I lost his love but hopefully he'll come back to me)
Lucky number 3 is someone I never really wasn't into but what attracted me about him was his soul I felt it with every word he spoke and with every time I looked into his eyes. We just feel so quickly for each other it was like an eccentric wave. The sight of him gave me an arousal, I could get a glance of him and I'm flooding in my panties. He was my sex muse, with him my deepest sexual desires came flooding out, I started to feel complete within. I've never told him how I've truly felt about him but I've told him I love him while having sex, I know what you thinking it's that good dick talking well I'd have to agree and disagree. That dick is the bomb, the way he takes his time with me and holds me like a fragile flower but gives me it raw and rough. I literally melted all over him to the point I almost had his baby, we got in too deep we both had to step away for a bit. Now he's away we're just talking about when he comes back we'll get together minus the feelings but I'm in love with him so I don't know if I'll be able to hide this shit, I can, for now, cause we only texting one another.
They all have bomb penis that's what makes it double harder to choose but I don't want to choose because I love all 3 of them. I want them all to call me selfish but they are the pieces to my puzzle and with one piece already missing I don't know how this love triangle will last and there goes that 3 again.
Why isn't my family enough for me?
Why isn't my spouse enough for me?
Why isn't 1 person's love good enough for me?
I could ask why all day but it's not helping me and I can't unloved who I'm in love with. I've gotten dumped by one of my lovers, he's not wanting to stay connected and continue with our relationship due to not wanting or understanding to share me. I'm deeply hurt because the emotional connection is still there and now I have to grieve a lost love. I'm not trying to connect with anyone else I emotionally couldn't handle because I stay loyal to the ones I love I don't break it and go find another I patiently wait for my love to return and I feel whole again.
My soul and heart are at rest knowing I've told him how I truly felt about our relationship and know that it might be the end for now but a refreshing thing coming out of this.
My spouse is always number 1 because we created life together, our connection is off the charts and I honestly believe he's my soul mate and my twin flame. We definitely have that yin and yang balance in our relationship but this he knows nothing about. This God knows everything about me from childhood trauma to present-day struggles and achievements but this he has no clue about and I wouldn't know how to approach this. I'm afraid I break his heart so bad that I lose him forever and his piece within me would be major damage for me. I don't know if I'll be able to junction even though I've been mentally preparing myself for this scenario I logistically don't want it to ever happen. If we don't make out being back into a relationship, my soul would accept us remaining friends with benefits. I know I sound selfish but as I said before I can't help who I love and fighting it is only blocking the alignment of my chakras.
My second love is a guy who was sent to me during a time I felt betrayed and alone. He was such a gentleman to me always. He knows a lot about me and we even shared the loss of our baby which still hurts to this date and I was angry with myself for how I went about things dealing with this pregnancy. I forgave myself but it still does hurt. A pain we both haven't gotten over together fully. He is an American warrior fighting this country's battle and his own. I love this guy be brought out the best in me and I brought out the worst turning him into a monster that I created being so selfish and blindsided. It will probably never be together again because of all the damage I've caused but I truly hope we become friends. (I'm crying as I type this because I lost his love but hopefully he'll come back to me)
Lucky number 3 is someone I never really wasn't into but what attracted me about him was his soul I felt it with every word he spoke and with every time I looked into his eyes. We just feel so quickly for each other it was like an eccentric wave. The sight of him gave me an arousal, I could get a glance of him and I'm flooding in my panties. He was my sex muse, with him my deepest sexual desires came flooding out, I started to feel complete within. I've never told him how I've truly felt about him but I've told him I love him while having sex, I know what you thinking it's that good dick talking well I'd have to agree and disagree. That dick is the bomb, the way he takes his time with me and holds me like a fragile flower but gives me it raw and rough. I literally melted all over him to the point I almost had his baby, we got in too deep we both had to step away for a bit. Now he's away we're just talking about when he comes back we'll get together minus the feelings but I'm in love with him so I don't know if I'll be able to hide this shit, I can, for now, cause we only texting one another.
They all have bomb penis that's what makes it double harder to choose but I don't want to choose because I love all 3 of them. I want them all to call me selfish but they are the pieces to my puzzle and with one piece already missing I don't know how this love triangle will last and there goes that 3 again.
