in my whole life I thought that things or life depends on what we want.
but what does longing for something change!?
nothing at all. but this thing called love is mysterious. someone gains it without making efforts or even asking for it. others lose love without even having a right to ask for it. you love yet not loved but you still do it anyways. so I wonder, what is love? artists paints a beautiful flowers in a heart portrait which makes love beautiful. authors writes about love and this L.O.V.E word takes pages which makes love interesting and exciting. Jesus Christ died for all of us to live which makes love hard, scary, and painful. I know all that but I still wonder "what is goddamn love"? my tongue trembles every time I think about love, it hurts like I'm dancing in the rain of sharp arrows directed towards my heart. It is painful.

I don't know if this is a poem or a story, not really but surely this is a love story of my life.
to be continued...