I belong mama, I belong to a blood bond where our hearts had been castrated like a lobotomized male chicken. I paltered mama, pardon me, If you could recall that day when I came in pool of blood and a wrecked body.

It was on Saturday. At the street of obele, behind an incompleted building. While on my way back from your errand, i was ambushed and they were on guns, matchets and battle axes. I was brought on my kneels before their master, and said he, "It is either you chose to leave here alive or leave here dead?", and nobody would ever desire death over life, and i was introduced to their constitution.

So the very story I told you that day, it was far beyond the opposite of what I should have bid you afore now. I was not on those mark of forty lashes lines and ten stanzas on my back because I stole, I never heisted from any warehouse and got caught and beaten. I fabricated that lies, because the lie was the only redeemer that i got and will honour the oath I had with them.

I know, already you shame for me, you regret ever having me as your son. But it was not my intention, I never dreamt one day to end up this way, until nature's fate confined me.

And me too, I can't forgive myself for what my inhumanity has invoked on those innocent lads. some who pleaded for their liberty, that they are orphans, some whose parents were poor. And what about those innocent girls, I raped and harassed. Will I ever be forgiven?, and what about those men and women trying to cope for their families?. I have indeed fought a fight that was not a war, look at people who barely feed, I troubled their freedom, i gave them no peace and my broken bottles gave them mark on their skins.

Mama, people are buying bread for their parents, while coming to visit home. But all i could afford to purchase was a "problem" as a gift or bread for you. I am a shame, and this deeds are worst than a sin, a sin of murdering ones life. And I need to be exiled from from this world.