I miss her, I say watching my phone waiting for a reply, my name is Bella. The girl I am in love with is Madeline, day by day we text as we feel we grow closer day by day, talking about our dreams and making stupid jokes laughing everyday, it was so trivial but so fun as we both always were happy together. But we wanted to touch each other and hold each other when we felt unhappy, the world is cruel. I said crying in my room as the blood from my arms spilled down on the ground as my phone lit up, I excitedly looked and it was a missed call. Unknown number, it read as I continued crying as my arms began bleeding more. It's said when you want something bad enough you can achieve it, though I never believed a cliche like that. Days go by as we continue texting each other as both of our sanity slowly starts going away, I love you I say as she continues going on about death and I say I feel exactly as you do as I doctor the scars previously put on my arms. We eventually through the conversation came up with an idea. It's said if two people kill themselves at the exact same time they will meet.
I brought that up to her through our conversation so we planned to kill ourselves two days after that. Those days were the slowest days ever as I spent them texting her and finishing things I always wanted to do, finally we made it to that day as we texted our final message to each other and said I love you. We had both agreed on shooting ourselves in our head, the easiest way to control the variables. 1, 2, 3 I pull the trigger as I hear the bang I collapse and lose my vision as my life flashes before my eyes. I see an empty abyss and a girl walking in it, is this Madeline i think as I sprint towards her. She grabs me and picks me up with a smile as we both cry holding each other as if we were being separated. I love you, I say to her as she smiles, kissing me, we end up staying in that same position for what felt like eternity. This abyss is all we will ever see in the world with no color that never ages or progresses, as long as it's with her I'll be fine with it. I collapsed onto her crying about how much I missed her and wanted to hold her as she had done the same. I abandoned everybody for her as she had done the same, nobody will ever be as important as she was. My family read my final note I left in the world as most of them broke down into tears and my close friends did, as some people rejoiced as I died. The world is really beautiful. I say looking down at everyone's reaction, she cries looking at hers as nobody cares at all, not even her own parents. I grab her, squeezing her, telling her I care only about her, holding her tight as her overflowing tears dissolved into the darkness, the darkness evaporates with it as her words spill out of her as if it was a painting, the light appears as the atmosphere is breathtaking. She finally smiled, that's the first time she ever smiled truly. She says to me care about only me, be only mine, live for me, hold me, love me. I grab her and say I will as I pull my sleeves up showing her her name in pink marker next to the endless scars on my arms as she cries squeezing me as we melt together in the sunlight of this newly found place.
© Chrstna