So my burn out is continuing, and now I have more issues.
I have a job coming up and no.money to ride me over until I get pay.
my bestie said she'd help but, you see, she had a Brain aneurysm and I don't want her stressed, especially because of me and my ish.
worse when she tells me her head hurts, she hated her job ( rightly so due to bad treatment), and that she has to tolerate certain people because she can possibly get help from them to help me.
I feel like shit when she tells me this.
my situation is so dim, I can't do much for myself, I'm a single parent with an autistic child, no family support, no spouse support..a failure.
I'm grateful for her help but I also am aware of what's it's costing her.
with less than a week before I'm to start working, I find myself with the thought that I may just not get through, and then what?
the girl with back up plans, ain't got none.
I hate this feeling of hopelessness.
and I can't talk to my bestie like I use to, for one, I refuse to add to get stress and two, the last I did she told me I was "complaining" out of frustration of the situation.
but you see, it stuck with me, it will always stick with me.
I'm a suffer in silence type, so to hear that when I finally open up felt like a hammer to the chest.
and thus, my ever active overthinking mind went into over drive.
I'm worried.
no it's not a lack of faith that good things won't happen, they do, it's just, THIS ONE THING.

I have no one to talk to, so pardon me as I vent on this platform.

thank you for reading.
© C.Wynter