It's those thoughts that make mildly confusing gestures to the imagination taking it in a erotic direction. So he passionately determines that his mind is clouded by her beauty and is costly to his judgement. On a curve he's learning to control his addiction but still sometimes it overwhelms his knowledge. Written in the text, burned and branded in his mind he finds himself sexually peeked and very inquisitive but not by love by a powerful feeling of attraction that won't be ignored. His dedication of persuading himself is like being under a spell he can't overcome. He wouldn't if...