Good evening, Ladies and Gentleman,

Welcome back to the show.

A quick message to our readers before we begin tonight. World, the topics of tonight’s show may be surprising for some of you. And, although what will be revealed on our show tonight, may in fact blow many of your minds, we’ll finally get to the heart of the matter.

The truth in this case is a bit of a slippery-slope. As it is hard for me to tell you, but a necessary requirement for you to accept, should we proceed towards our goal of becoming One World. I suppose, for many of us this may be like that part in the Matrix when Neo first comes out of the simulation and immediately throws up.

Moreover, I’ve learned that my audaciousness and sarcasm has sometimes acted as more of a barrier for me than necessary. Thus, performing a certain kind of alchemy that allows me to practice avoidance rather than head-on confrontation about the following topics.

I suppose that this is because I empathize with all of you.

While I will never admit in its entirety that I feel bad for cursing you, I suppose that after 7,000 years, I feel slightly more vindicated than I otherwise would after finding that my curse is still upon the land and on all of you. (See, now my previous comments don’t seem so bad, right?)

Welcome to Hell, Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to Hell.

So, remember Pirates of the Carribean? I’m not sure if this will...