As surely as the earth spins on its axis and ushers in the change of seasons from one year to the next, us inconsequential humans have the same fate. The unstoppable movement leads us to our own seasons of change. Unlike the trajectory of the elements, doomed to repeat the same seasons over and over, humans have the mixture of personality, desire, goals, rational thought, emotions and experience to guide us through our own ever evolving changes.

With over 30 years of experiences, in every changing mind and society, I have had the luxury of witnessing many patterns in my life as well as the wisdom to apply what that means. What I’ve learned, is that I am a bundle of extremes that oftentimes conflict with each other. I share and communicate freely but am guarded to an extreme on subjects I believe warrant it, I can be extremely empathetic and loving, or extremely cold and detached. I talk too much, and almost pathologically need to have the last word as well as an incessant need to crack jokes. To put it simply, I am equal parts an effusively kind person and massive piece of shit.

To this end, I’m like most people, a hard to define, unable to put your finger on, and impossible to figure out Hodge podge of conflicting thoughts and emotions that can be defined by the situation, person, or experience of the moment. Leaving the rest of the people populating the earth. The quiet, reserved, shy, and balanced. The people that I’ve always envied. As someone who has teetered between extremes, and always been too much, I’ve always marveled at people with these characteristics.

That’s why it fills me with a joy to know that age (and the experience & wisdom of learning when and how to bite one’s tongue), as well as the lessons in the class, have bought me to a place where I can fully exert all these experiences to fully operate as a different kind of person. OK, fine…I can at least communicate like one. The goal to hit, the standards to achieve? That lays in the champion of such architypes, the mythical and great RON SWANSON.

If you are unaware of who this legend is, fear not, for I will explain. You will understand exactly who Ron Swanson is, the characteristics I wish to live like going forward. As well as the tools this class has handed me. Tools that will guarantee I will at the very least, communicate like Ron Swanson.

Ronald Ulysses Swanson, or Ron Fucking Swanson as he likes to call himself, is the director of the Parks and Recreation Department in the town of Pawnee Indiana. He is a distant, staunch libertarian, or a strong proponent of small government. An extremely deadpan and stereotypical masculine personality who despises working with the public. He loves meat, woodworking, hunting, whiskey, breakfast food, and women. He despises both of his ex-wives both named Tammy, and aptly named Tammy 1 and Tammy 2. Growing up on a farm he maintains an incredibly private lifestyle and a love of physical labor. He very seldom expresses any emotion, unless the subject is about things he loves; like riddles and meat. He’s an outdoor enthusiast who adores, strong, self-possessed women at the top of their field. He drinks heavily, but rarely becomes inebriated, due to his high tolerance. He avoids pop culture, and celebrities, and even has albums out of his sax playing skills under a fake name so his friends and family don’t know.

Despite the bio, Ron has some characteristics that are admirable, and most people would do well to live by them. His belief in free enterprise only fuels his drive for hard work, ingenuity and industry. Born of this is his do-it-yourselfedness that grows his self-reliance. He takes pleasure in the small things, which only nurtures his contentment and simplicity in life. His love of nature and solitude gives him a sense of reverence and detachment. As well as his financial responsibility lends to a frugal and prudent nature.

In his communication, he is a man of few words, mostly savoring silence and speaking with discretion. Which simply adds a weight and importance to his words when he chooses to speak. His value of honor, and his hatred of lying, leads to him communicating with honesty and integrity. He loves to tell a good joke and loathes spending time with the public at large. Despite his avoidance of the general public at all costs, and honestly cam we fault him, his interpersonal relationships matter to him greatly. So deep is his affection for those few he chooses to interact with that he shares his leadership, and wisdom with them. With nothing more satisfying to him then mentoring others to achieve all they are capable of.

All of these are great examples of some of the characteristics I plan to apply in my life going forward. To have what I say carry a greater meaning and be more concise. To have relationships be few, but inherently rich. To continue to carry forward a life led honestly, while laughing as much as possible, and continuing to find contentment in the simple pleasures afforded to us daily. Capitalized on whenever we choose to look and find them.

The best way to start eliminating the unnecessary in communication is to strip down to the bare bones and understand why it is we need to communicate. The physical, identity, and social needs we must have filled explains why we must function in society, as limited as that functionality is. The bottom line is that social networks with people addresses our physical needs and aids in our well-being. People with strong networks of support live 3.7 years longer on average than those of isolated people. Communication also helps to serve our identity needs, as communication with others is the only way we learn who we are. And as Ron shows, when we have strong links and good communication with people it affects our happiness and contentment levels.

In living a life like Ron Swanson, it is important to use, but not rely on technology when it comes to communication. While technology serves some fundamentally important purposes, it should not be the norm or replace face-to-face communication. The value in face-to-face communication serves a fundamental key in maintain healthy and satisfying relationships and should be used more often then through devices. The biggest drawbacks of such communication, in my opinion, is the how leaner messages become and the loss of synchronicity. When we communicate over a device our messages lack a depth that is only aided by the myriad of aspects nonverbal communication adds. On top of this we lose our synchronicity, and when our messages aren’t given or received in same time, a certain urgency and priority is lost. Another drawback is the public records that all our interactions become. Which, if Ron Swanson has taught you anything, it would be that contentment and fulfillment is more attainable off the grid.

Another windfall in communicating like Ron Swanson, is the direct effect on your identity and your emotions. When you get rid of all the unnecessary fluff and you focus on the conversations and the people who matter to you it becomes much easier to balance your self-concept with your self-worth. The question of who you think you are, becomes much easier to answer when you have rid yourself of unnecessary interactions and people. The evaluation of the person you have left is only served to rise as you focus your efforts on the people whom matter most to you. In turn their support and influence keep you in this healthy balance of recognizing your worth but not overshooting yourself.

The thing I most admire about Ron, and plan to do for the rest of my communicative life as best I can be that he is a perfect example of expressing his emotions. He recognizes his feelings and makes no excuses or defense for them. He knows the difference between feeling, talking and acting. Perhaps he lacks in expanding his emotional vocabulary, but it’s no worry because I have that in spades. Not only can he share multiple feelings, but he is well versed in the when and where to do so. He accepts responsibility for his feelings and his actions and is mindful of his communication. While these steps have been a test of time, I have finally come to a place in life where I can maintain these steps despite the varying nature of my feelings. While my methods of channeling these overlapping feelings change with time and situations, they are intact and prevent me from hurdling my feelings at someone else. In fact, I can honestly say that following these guidelines are critical from not letting your emotions control you.

Another Ron Swanson skill I feel like I have a chance at accomplishing is his use of mindful and mindless listening. He knows that mindless listening, or when we react to another’s message automatically and routinely without the mental investment is best used in certain situations. Mainly in his dealing with the general public, as he knows all to well that most of the time their effort needed to keep up with a mindless interaction is hardly worth it. Instead he reserves his mindful interactions for his interpersonal relationships and his most important of responsibilities. To them he gives careful attention, as well as thoughtful responses during the give and take of their conversation.

When it comes to the types of his friendships, I can’t help but agree with the side he stands on in these models. Ron would always pick low disclosure vs high disclosure, and while often he would choose the occasional side of occasional vs frequent. Ron and I both agree that all communication holds value. In fact, we’d probably argue that most of the time it is the non-verbal cues that are given that are intrinsically more important than the actual message received.

Two more areas where I try to emulate Ron, deals with transgressions in our interpersonal relationships and dealing with criticism. My tolerance for criticism is an incredibly slippery slope. If I feel condescended to, disrespected, or flat out insulted I have much to learn in being able to learn how to handle it. I am only comfortable handling what can only be described as constructive criticism. If it does not serve the purpose to improve something, I’m doing I am extremely likely to disregard it. This is where the Ron Swanson mentality is most helpful.

You see, because the lines of who he values and what opinions he respects are so black and white, it only aids in his ability to handle criticism non-defensively. He will seek more information, ask for specifics, paraphrase back what has been said, ask what his critic wants, ask about the consequences, as well as if there is anything else is wrong, as well as agreeing with the facts and the critics point of view.

This black and white separation of his beliefs and compartmentalizing of his emotions makes it that much easier for him to apologizing for his transgressions. While I can follow these steps, it is oftentimes difficult for me to swallow my pride or push my stubbornness aside to follow through. Ron does this easily, why? Simply because all his relationships matter to him, as none of them are superficial. His expression of regret, acceptance of responsibility, restitution, request for forgiveness and request for repentance are all sincere.

His style in managing conflicts are two basics of avoiding and accommodating. Where he avoids anything, he finds uncomfortable or frivolous and accommodates those that come from people or situations he is vested in. This simplification could only serve to help me further, and essentially reach a goal of satisfaction and contentment in my personal relationships. As well as serve as the reminder to not let peripheral relationships and people take on greater importance.

The only real aspect not to emulate about Ron Swanson is his stereo-typical masculinity and his strict adherence to his gender role and norms. In today’s climate, and my fortunate position of being a well-off white balanced I hope to live my life without judgement or restrictions. To not wear blinders or claim to see every person as the same. To stay wide awake to all the differences of race, sexuality, sexual identity, religion and color. To see the wrongs, and not stay silent. To see the injustice and do whatever is in my power to help. Be that a conversation, a donation, my time, or my signature.