I can feel it breathing down my neck. As close as ever before I can't ignore it. It's getting closer, It's almost time.

These shadows creeping on me ...

The reap coming to claim my life.

My heart sinks knowing what I've done with such a precious gift.

I think about how much love people never stopped trying to force into my path.

So much effort from people that never gave up.

I let go of my life in my early twenties...

Hurt ... Heartbroken and young .

I gave up.

Plagued with the loss of love, suicide and misery let me down a path of misery and endless drugs. I gave up on my self .

I never really returned .. decades later ...

Getting closer to the dirt.

... When I was young I lost a lover ...

I let it torture me...refused to let it go.

It turned into a demon...

... Then it became the monster ...

Reckless... Taking chances ... Risking it all ...

Survival and instinct.. stole my suicide .

I've felt like dying everyday since 05 ... But here I am still ranting on. . A survivor at heart ... The battle myself ..

...

Years of improvement... Years of fail ....

... Every time I get close to some thing I might want ..

. A part of me takes over ......