I'm lost, forgotten... I'm...

Nobody.

I walk down the hallways towards my room. As I arrive, my classmates play and shout.

Loud laughter, annoying screams, and screeching sounds.

I sit on my chair to be greeted by none. I'm used to it. I don't really enjoy their kind of fun. For the past year, I've always scolded and insulted them. I guess I deserve this.

Our teacher starts discussing as the disrespectful retards talk. The subject today is philosphy so this should be interesting.

"Life is a suffering. Hinduism believes that you will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

Karma? That's it. Is this karma?

A few hours pass, it's time to go home. While I walk on the sidewalk along other people, a white light flashes... so does the darkness.

A car accident had happened. The night glooms over the bodies of the victims. A child, an elderly, a worker, and a student... me.

Blood scatters around as medic and ambulances rush. The child and worker survive. The elderly and th student don't.

This is death, as my visiom blurs the lights from phones and vehicles. With my last breath, I glance at the moon. It shines bright until it fades.

Complete darkness.

No light. No sound.

Nothing.

I feel free. No one else but me. No screaming or laughing.

It's my --

"It's a girl!"

A... girl?

"She's beautiful."

A lady and man smile.

"You will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

Those words. Are they true?

I'm lost. What's going on? What is this place?

Who am I?

I go to my classroom as my friends greet me. We smile and laugh. We enjoy the loudness of our conversation.

The teacher arrives. We don't really care. She scolds us and confiscates our gadgets. She calms down and starts the discussion.

"Life is a suffering. You will be reincarnated depending on your karma, as per belief of Hinduism."

Yeah, right. As if that's re--

Loud laughter, annoying screams, screeching sounds...

But my classmates are just sitting quietly.

My friends pull me out of the room right in front of the teacher. Who cares if she scolds us. You only live once.

My friends and I go to the bar and drink until midnight. We go home then. We are completely drunk. While we walk the sidewalk in a drunken manner, a sense of Deja Vu happens. One of my friends has fallen on the road.

Tires screech. Light flashes... as darkness follows. We were hit by a bus. Blood sprays everywhere. My friends somehow survived but left me to die.

My vision blurs as I glance at the moon light. It's as if something similar had happened.

Loud laughter, annoying screams, screeching sounds...

"You will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

The noise is familiar. Have this happened before?

Silence fills the void. Finally!

"It's a boy!"

Light suddenly shines. A man carries me and gives me to a couple.

"He's perfect!"

...

"She's beautiful."

He? She?

What's going on?!

I'm lost! Everything is unknown!

I head to my class as girls greet me. The females in mu school always do this. Many males envy me. The girls claim I'm the perfect man while the boys think the opposite.

As the teacher discusses, the class starts talking. I politely ask them to stay silent. The girls do so. The boys don't.

"Life is a suffering. According to Hinduism, you will be reincarnated depending on your karma.

I've always believed in reincarnation but mever thought karma will be involved.

Conversations are so loud.

No one is talking though.

Loud laughter, annoying screams, screechinh sounds...

What?!

It's late afternoon, the brink of night. I go to the bathroom, only to be greeted by some jocks.

I smile at them but they punch me. They continue punching until some people barge in. They stop the jocks as others bring me to the clinic.

I passed out. That nearly killed me.

Nearly...

I look at the light bulb slowly getting blurry.

It's like Deja Vu.

Drunk friends survived.

Loud laughter, annoying screams, screeching sounds...

"You will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

Why are these familiar? Have I died before? At this age? During a similar situation?

I don't know.

Did I exist long ago?

A dark void devours me.

What were those? Friends? Noise? Reincarnation?

What is this?!

I'm so confused. Get me out of here! What have I ever done to deserve this?!

Please... Someone answer me.

"We have to abort it."

"No! I am keeping this child!"

"It's a boy!"

I'm.. Alive? How?!

I'm lost... I feel forgotten.

I'm nobody.

Help me... Please...

Classes are about to start. I'm not in my room yet. Why should I care? When I arrive, the class pays attention to the discussion. The teacher greets me anyways and gestures to me to sit on my chair. I do so.

"Life is a suffering. Hinduism believes that you will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

Hinduism? Karma? Reincarnation?

Don't make me laugh. They're not proven to be real.

Life is a suffering...

"Life is a suffering. Hinduism believes that you will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

Drunk friends survive.

"Life is a suffering. You will be reincarnated depending on your karma, as per belief of Hinduism."

Sudden punches in the bathroom.

"Life is a suffering. According to Hinduism, you will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

Lough laughter...

Drunk friends...

Annoying screams.. .

Sudden punches...

Screeching sounds...

Karma...

What karma is this? What have I done in these lives?

Is this why I'm like this?

What have these pasts done?!

The teacher calls and asks me if I have any questions.

"Is it possible to know my past lives?"

The teacher says that it might be. That doesn't happen often.

"What does karma have to do with it?"

The teacher obviously taught this earlier. I just wasn't paying attention.

She says that if my past lives had done awful deeds, the next lives will have consequences. If good deed were done, so will the outcomes.

I guess that would explain my family status. My dad doesn't love me. Never had he once shown that he cared. My lives must have been horrible.

"What happens if a person commits suicide?"

She replies that it coule be either...

Reincarnated to a "some thing"

Or...

No more lives.

The latter seems calming.

I go home at night. I walk om the bridge while looking down.

I should jump.

No. Not that choice.

I arrive home. My parents are fighting again. Glass breaks and scatters everywhere. It's like any other day.

I head up stairs.

My dad shouts at me. He's drunk again.

As I look to his direction, he throws a glass bottle at me. It breaks and wounds my forehead. I touch and gaza at my bloody hands.

My dad continues shouting at me. Mom tries to stop him. As they argue about me, I grab a piece if glass and slit it through my wrist.

I can't take this anymore. Just take me away.

Blood spreads on the floor. A series of flashbacks comes to mind.

"Life is a suffering."

The visions come.

Annoying laughter...

Drunk friends...

Punches...

Car accident...

I had probably been reincarnated already. I want to stop the process.

All these visions died before a white light.

Mine here doesn't.

All I see is black.

I'm dead. Nothing is all there is.

Silence...

Darkness...

Peace...

"Life is a suffering."

A voice shouts through the darkness.

"You will be reincarnated depending on your karma."

Then what is my karma?

"You took your own life. That is the biggest sin there is. You will still be reincarnated. But as you remembered your memories throughout your lives, they will be taken with you from every life to another."

Okay...

"You shall be reincarnated but not with a rational heart and mind."

Rational heart and mind? What?!

I have all my memories just as that thing said. But.. .

Why am I surrounded by pigs?!

Someone carries and brings me to a room. I shriek continuously.

I see a mirror.

I'm... a piglet?

I continue to shriek.

"Calm down, boy! You'll join your mama soon. Your mama was a great sacrifice to the human race. We'll make sure you are, too. I hope you'll be proud of that."

Everyday is a horrible event. Being forced to eat until my fateful day.

The humans stab me in my heart. As I slowly lose strength, they cut my limbs off and tear my chest open.

I'm dead again.

So this is how pigs are. How sad. No wonder others turn vegans.

I cry in the darkness for a while until I hear a scream.

I look up.

A... Giant?!

"Mom! There's a cockroach! Help!"

I see the mother carrying a slipper.

I see a gap and run into it.

I'm a cockroach?! Of all animals?!

I hate cockroaches!

"You shall be reincarnated but not with a rational heart and mind."

Oh, yeah. I did kill myself. I let that out of my mind for a moment.

And because of that, I suffered bad karma.

I'm lost.. .

Forgotten...

I'm nobody...

Please...

Kill me...

Please...

I beg of you.


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