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UNSAID LOVE
Part 2 :- Annual Function 2006

In the month of august, to be precise, last week of august, teachers made the announcement for annual function. This year, we had to enact Ramayana with class XI. Each section of both the classes got certain scenes. We got our scripts and the preparations began.

In our school, we had different buildings, we were asked to practice in the middle wing. Each section occupied a classroom and the teachers started with their task of assigning roles and dialogues.

While reading out my script, I saw him. The guy who was in white shirt and white trouser without tie the day our special assembly was conducted. I recognized him. He had a very different persona, in spite of the fact that I want students to wear the uniform decently, I liked him. A tall guy, probably 5’11” or an inch or two less. A mesmerizing smile and the captivating eyes made him stand out among his friend circle. I had my eyes glued on him, without his attention on me. And then my name was called out by Ms. Monika. I resumed reading my script verbally and thinking of that guy mentally. In short, I was not present in the class……lost was I… in his thoughts.

You call it destiny or coincidence, but after seeing him again, he crossed my path again and again…… sometimes on stage, sometimes in corridors, in playground, in hall…… almost everywhere in school, leaving my own class. I was now so habitual of seeing him that sometimes, I would just stand in corridor and watch him playing in the playground. He used to play cricket early morning, before the first period or the zero period as it was called in our school.

One day I was standing in corridor during recess, my classmate Bhawna was also standing with me. And of course, I had my eyes on him in the ground.

Bhawna said to me, “you know that guy is my brother and the one standing with him, is my brother’s friend.”

“Which one? I asked.

“The guy without tie is my brother’s friend.”

“Oh, that guy. What’s his name? Is he in your brother’s class? I inquired.

“No. He is in humanities, my brother is in commerce. He is Rishi.”

It took me so long just to know his name and I could feel something about his name. Probably I fell in love with his name. I repeated his name many times mentally, Rishi….. Rishi…. Rishi….. Rishi…, not to remember it. I repeated it for it sounded so beautiful and peaceful to my ears. I was happy, actually more than just happy, to know his name as if I had found some treasure.

But the very human nature doesn’t allow you to settle for what you have. I wanted to know more of him. I wanted to befriend him, to talk to him, spend time with him……

As I was merely 16, I had this very stupid idea of initiating the friendship by asking him to fill my slam book, which is a very teenage stuff. I decided to ask him to fill it on the annual function day, after we finish the play.

Finally the day came, sometime in the first week of October. My role required me to be on the stage every other scene that had any king or queen.

I was standing near the stage, waiting for my turn to come, and Rishi was standing opposite to me, one the other side of the stage, waiting for his turn. This time when I stepped on the stage, I got down on the same side as his. My heart beat suddenly went like the mercury in a thermometer on a hot sunny day. I have this strange feeling whenever he is around. But I like to around him. His scene came and he went on the stage. He came back from the stage. For the next scene, he had to remove some accessories from his costume. He handed them to me, since I was the only one standing there. It made me full of joy to think that he handed his accessories to me. After he came back from his second scene, I had to return his stuff back. But I don’t know why I was so nervous, I could not muster courage to ask him to take those things back. When his part was entirely over and he was about to leave the stage area, I could only say, “your accessories?”

He asked me put it there and he’ll take it later.

The play was over and all the participants went to change the costumes. My dad and my sisters had come to see the play and I was supposed to leave with them.

I changed my costume and took the slam book in my hand and looked for him. Before I could see him, I saw my dad and he asked me to come with him. I passed by Rishi. I had to gather all my strength to walk up to him. I said to my dad that I have some work and I’ll join him in 5 minutes. I walked towards the entry of the playground where he was standing, my heart went crazy, and I could hear it loud.

“Hi, I want you to fill my slam book?”

“Me?”

“Of course you, when I am talking to you, then whom else would I ask?” I thought.

“Yeah, you,” I said to him.

“Later, right now I am a bit busy,” said he.

“Ok”, said I disappointedly.

I came back to my dad and my sisters and we went home. I was really upset as I had to muster courage to say even a single word to him and he said no so bluntly. Somewhere I was also angry. I don’t know with myself or with him.

Later, in school I tried many a times to go up to him, but in vain. I did not had enough courage to approach him again.

I would take my slam book in my hand and go towards his classroom XI G, but would never enter his classroom nor would I ever say anything to him. Somewhere, I wanted him to approach me but I also knew that he will not do so as I was nothing more than a stranger to him.

My usual time to leave for school was 7:30 am but just see him playing I started leaving at 7 am, so as to reach by 7:15 am. One morning I came to school by 7:20 am and not to my surprise Nancy was also there. She used to come by school bus which would sometime drop her by 7:20 am and sometime by 7:55 am. Well, I kept my bag on my seat and came out in the corridor. She came with me and noticed me, literally staring at Rishi. Before she could ask anything, I said, “I have started liking him and want to befriend him.”

She is a darling. She wants to help her friends to the best of her capacity. She suggested me to go to him and tell about my feelings.

“How to say it?” I asked.

She replied, “Go to him and say look I am being straight and honest, I have started liking you and I want be your friend. If it’s fine with you then tell me.”

“Hahahahahah”, I laughed out. That was typical Nancy style, which I could not do.