Just read it somewhat that "#1 rank isn't an achievement, it's a prison which forces you to dedicate your life to defend a Temporary title" and I don't know how to react now.
Like this is one hell of a thing to realise.
So the thing is that I am pretty well in my studies which prompts my friends and cousins to call me the much loathed term "topper".
Like there is no word in the world that I hat more than "topper". Because that term is not just a mere word, it brings with itself expectations and a lot of that. And as a bonus also brings anxiety.
It is like...it becomes a burden...I want to study...yes...but everytime I study I have to keep in mind the image that has been created of me in other people's mind.
And no...I don't give a damn about what other people think of me...but do damn I am human too...and these things creep in your mind even if you don't want to.
I could care less about what people think...but it really pisses me that people thinks that people who are good in studies are gifted...like hell no...though some of them are better at understanding concepts...but no one is really gifted...The Einsteins and Kalams are very rare.
Most of them are just hardworking...they may have been better than their peers when they were kids...but now they are just trying to uphold that image.
Like I won't say I was better than anyone...but I did well in studies...now the entirety of my family and friends think of me as the "topper".
It becomes your whole personality like...people meet you and they introduce you with someone as, "oh she is very good at studies", "she is very studious", "She'll become something big", "You can do it, because you are better than them."
For once can everyone stop.
For once can you not make my personality as a topper...I don't mind being called nerdy...that is different.
For once can people just see me for myself and see how troubled and anxious I am.
For once can anyone hear me out.




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