Every night and day I watch mother nature do it's thing. Going on walks to parks seeing the creatures that God has created. Though people don't see the goodness in me. All they see my past mistakes I never learn from. As I deeply get into my dark souls. please let me say these last few words, depression isn't a game. Thoughts that turns into actions. All the scars from razors to blades all over my body. I'm not afriad I'm not ashamed but nightmares that scares you but can't wake up from horrible dream that trapes you down and make you stuck. Nightmares that take your breathe away and scare my soul. Now I lay awake talking to the creatures that rose from the dead nigths. All the things they say
turn me into a zombie. where I lay awake every day and night trying to avoid the scary dreams of death. so I just sit in my bed writing these voices that play on repeat saying more and more lies to try and end my life cause it's not the same when your down trying to pick my head back up. the doctor give me meds and the pastor said pray and none of it seems to work. my hopeless life have ruined the love that I have. All the darkness inside of me took over my life and now I'm struggling to overcome these thoughts and urges. So many times I tried to end my life, just end up in the hospital being held like a slave. Everybody I have are slowly turning away sooner or later I soon to have no one cause I'm afriad of hurting them emotionally or physically. I'm afriad of everything I do cause I'm afriad of your reactions. So if I die please don't say how good I was cause all I did was hurt you. I know how feels to be hurt so I don't want people to feel that way. that's why I hide from the world of shame