I always felt like i never belonged to the family, right from a tender age, i had issues with my mom. She never understood me, she always places the blame on me, she always saw my mistakes and made sure she disciplined the hell out of me but she never appreciated the good things i did.
I was labelled as the lazy one, the one that talks anyhow, i never felt any sense of belonging with my mum while growing up.
All attention was placed on my brother and younger siblings, i became daddy's girl and that infuriated her the more because whenever dada is around, he supports me and takes care of me but whenever he is out of the house, she never fails to discipline me and he is never around because he travels a lot, she never fails to embarass me whenever i am with friends
Most times, i do think she hates me, i do think she abducted me because i was the only one who was treated differently among all her children, i irritated her
Was it when she broke my lips because i forgot to brush or when she embarassed me at primary school telling my friends to sing and laugh at me because i still bedwet or when she labelled me as a lazy one in front of my friends and i was mocked while still in secondary school
Was that her own way of teaching me to become a better daughter?
Her other daughters were not treated this way, they were called and talked to with love but mine was with despair and irritation
I tried everything to become a better daughter for her, i tried to be closer to her but it was as if i was not doing enough
I am grown up now and i understand the ways of life and the ways of a lady even though i learnt them the hard way
She is trying to come closer to me now and also wants to create an image in my mind that she loves me
I lover her too as i have forgiven her but the damage is done already
While growing up, i never felt any sense of belonging with my mum and that memory is gonna stick with me for long
But i pray things getter from now on...
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