Man I forgot I was born yesterday and have no common sense... yep yep it's definitely time to redefine the silence in my body language and the sadness that bleed through my eyes... the knife I take and cut my lifeline to hand over woven knots swinging from inner emotional dysfunctional pain... isn't this normal though but what is normal anyways??~~ is it normal to feel <> because... no no don't lead with emotions... is it normal to worry?? Huh or should we just take it for you know... the shit that people do because this world I've skipped so gladly into usually leads only a few places.... and none of them end in roses and cards for my memory box... just blood shot eyes, too many drugs not enough hugs but I have to be honest with myself for once and at this point I'd probably not hug me too.... BUT FUCK!!!! I wish I could be squeezed back into place. Ok momma, you can ground me and I won't even sneak out the window.... Never knew the words I'm sorry were actually the most sorry words for this disgusting human to speak because I know I feel at my lowest low and when I reached for help then too I was made to feel like I must put on a shoe for everybody else×××× everybody else but for me. When did I lose my light??? Cause man I sure could use it to light a fire... wrapped in zip ties and damp skin from trying to stay warm. But it's hard to feel warmth when I'm really so fucking alone... and I don't know how loud I have to stay silently tucked away from the world outside foggy windows... terrified of facing anyone other than the mask I chose for te day... and I may not have a dollar to my name but let's be real I KNOW I AM THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME... not looking for a hand out just a hand to hold mine for a moment and not looking to pity nor do I really need advice because I'm old enough to know better but to broken this time to care... just need to numb the pain... believe me love and hate are starting to feel the same and I'm slowly dying inside from so much shame... self induced self destruction and now I understand why some would rather be hanging by a noose....
© author~unknown