When I became a flight attendant three and a half years ago, I thought I was well on my way to having an overabundance of built-in friends.

FRIENDS!!

ME!!

Imagine that.

Pigs must be flying somewhere.

I figured, a bunch of similarly corky people who willingly chose a transient life, stuck in a metal tube together at 39,000 feet, would have every reason to be friends. We're all notably different in personality, background, age, experience, work history, and countless other categories, but we have things in common that clearly bind us!

Right?!?

Well...

To borrow an ingenious phrase from the infamous narrator of...