I stared at the gun on the passenger seat. Then looked forward at the forest on both sides of me on forest road. I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel. I put my head on the wheel. I started screaming in my car. I jumped out of the car like something pushed me out. Took my shirt off Then put the gun in the back of my pants. I started running in the forest. Blindly anger running, where I was getting cuts all over my body from the sticker bushes and tree branches. I was running into the heart of the forest. The only thing is I didn't know that or what direction I came from.. the sun was already going down. So by the time I came out of my manic run. I was in the dark looking around for a sense of direction. I was lost. The only light I saw was not coming from the sky but from the opposite end of the forest where I was at. It looked like a purple and blue light. I walked over to where it was at. It took me a little while but I got to see what was to come of this light. I saw a hooded person sitting on a campfire bench and a campfire that was every color but orange. An old woman's voice softly said 'come sit.' I caught my breath from jogging over. She spotted me. I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude on you. No words were spoken back. Just the crackle of the fire that spared the silence that was present. So I just followed instruction. I sat next to the old woman in the hood. What brings you to my home in this hour? Speak truthfully I desire no nonsense. Yes ma'am I said. To tell you the truth. I was looking for a clif or somewhere to commit suicide. That is my truth. There was no words. Again Just the crackles of the multicolored fire. After a minute went by. The old woman asked What is tucked in you're back? I told her something that shouldn't be there. Hmm I see she replied. I want you to look into the fire and tell me what you see. Do not ask questions just do. My eyes filled with color. my pupils in the fires eye turned pink and purple. I saw a man screaming and the shadow of the man took the gun out of his back and put it to his head and pulled the trigger.when the trigger was pulled and the sound went off I flinched and tears rolled down my face. I then saw a field of yellow flowers and a shadow that sat next to me like a real person. The shadow put it's hand on the back on my neck. In that moment. It triggered the universe and everything I ever saw all was seen in one picture and I absorbed it all. Like a tape roll slideshow in a instant. My voice quivered... I started crying in my hands. The woman was sipping on tea and was staring into the fire as well. But was lookimg forward and did not flinch or even look over in my direction as I'm going through a fire trip. She just let me experience and absorb what was needed to be absorbed. After the flames calmed down I looked over and she was gone but next to a half dranken cup of tea a note that simply said. 'You can make it' I picked it up and sat there. The colors turned orange and I was sitting in the forest completely humbled. I took a deep breath clenched the note and smiled as the fire turned to embers and noticed I was back to sitting in pitch black. I picked up the tea that was still warm and just sipped it and chuckled to myself.. I had found the answers in the darkness.
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