`You are too secretive' mum yelled at me. I have heard this sentence all my life, but it wasn't my fault. I find it so hard to express myself. How can I? People don't understand how stressful it is to explain what is going on with you when you don't even understand it yourself.
All I possess are thoughts which are in conflicts with one another, my vocabulary is limited, my mind is tired and my voice is cracked.
I blamed myself for every bad thing someone does to me. I hated to see someone displeased because of me. I could go extra miles to make someone pleased at the detriment of my happiness. I felt guilty even if someone wasn't pleased enough at the sadness and problems he/she has caused me.
I was going apart, nothing seemed to bother me anymore. I was so engrossed in my bitter sweet lonely life. I wallowed in self pity, agony and deep pain day in day out and nobody seem to bother, everyone already knew I wouldn't talk, so they assumed I was fine because `she is always like that' mum would chant at anybody who asked why I was never smiling or looking happy.
It wasn't like I never wanted to talk but nobody was ready to be patient enough to calm me down and listen to me. My world was crumbling.
If only parents could exercise a bit of patience and listen, teenagers won't have to keep dangerous secrets and live a depressed life.




© Anonymous