hey everyone i just wanted to share my story so people know they are not alone in anything they go through because a few years ago I thought I was... ever since I was a kid my father had been an alcoholic. I didnt know he was i just thought everyones dad drank as much as he did. it had gotten to the point where he was hardly even eating anymore. In April of my freshman year in high school i had went with my girlfriend at the time and one of our close friends to spend the weekend at her great grandmas house three and a half hours away. It was the saturday night we were sitting on the patio eating popeyes and cutting up like we always did. than my friend jacob looked at me and said "bro, taylor committed suicide". Taylor was a guy we knew from school and everyone loved him.. we were in shock. I get home the sunday afternoon and my mom meets me outside and told me we needed to talk. I assumed it was about Taylor and she didnt realize I already knew. But something totally different came out of her mouth. My dad had left for rehab that morning. i felt like my life was falling apart and this was only the beginning. A week or so had gone by than my dog pepper passed away.. I was the men of the house while my dad was gone so i buried him and when i was done i went take a shower put the music as high as it could go and just started yelling at the top of my lungs.. a month later being out of school im working trying to help out to pay some bills and i get a text. A girl I knew took a curve a little too fast the night before while she was drinking and ended up unconcious in a ditch where she drowned.. all I could think about was mariah's smile.. you would never see her without a smile and she was always so happy.. by the time my dad was out of rehab I just wasnt the same. i distanced myself from everyone, broke up with the girlfriend, and I would never come out of my room. I started cutting myself trying to hide it as much as possible from everyone. It was the only thing that would take my mind off of everything else that had happened. One day I was just so tired of it all. It was November right before Thanksgiving break i got out of school and headed straight home. I sat there and just thought about everything for a while. Than i started writing my suicide note. I was just trying to explain it wasn't my parents that did anything wrong or any of my friends I just didnt want to be here anymore and I wanted the pain and the past to go away. before I could finish the note my parents came home early and found me writing and with a gun sitting on the tv tray right next to me. If they would have gone eat out like they were supposed to I dont think I would still be here. I might have come to realize that it was a permanent solution to the temporary problems I was having. But I really do not think I would have. The bigger the storm the brighter the rainbow is. Never forget that. Just know no matter who you are or what your going through your not alone. Everyone has a different story but your not the only one that has felt that pain. You are not the only one who at one point or time just wished you could end it. Everyone has someone that loves them. I love all of you❤❤❤