There was once a girl ...they thought she was beautiful and most guys wanted her but she wasn't interested in any of them.she promised herself as a kid that she would only date at the age of 19 years old and she never broke her promise yet.

So this is how it went. He messaged her and he got her to like him with just his words, though he wasn't what she wanted he made her smile..it was almost like she found a little hope again just a little spark.

For the first few months it was all nice and sweet. His words charmed her but she knew ,she prepared herself for the best and the worst she knew what she was getting herself into but she couldn't control it because he made her smile. She told herself to make sure she's prepared for him to leave just like everyone else did. She thought he was her love.

Every morning she'd wake up, crab her phone and send him a good morning message checking her phone continuously to see if he replied yet. She actually loved him..

They would talk each day for hours smiling at their phone and laughing like crazy. She was actually smiling for once but deep down inside she knew he would leave one day.. tho she was a strong girl she was afraid of losing him the same way she lost everyone else.

She lowered her standards just for him and always replied as fast as she can because she knew what its like to be ignored she loved him but she never knew how to show that love .. she didn't know how to take in kind words so she would thank him and tell him she loved him.

It was all fine until he thought she didn't care about him..he would reply late to her , wouldnt pay attention and would forget to tell her he loved her so she had to remind him.

Then It went all wrong he would hurt her bringing tears to her eyes but when she told him how she felt he would simply say she was overreacting and overthinking and it happened again and again ..

But she's the type of girl to expect a broken heart and except the pain that comes with it.she let him go even though she cared so much because she got addicted to a losing game she knew loving him was a losing game.

She's a strong girl who as matured to early and faced life to fast tho she knows more is coming her way she's the type to love to be alone as long as she as music she's ok. When shes alone she would feels tears roll down her face but she wouldn't have any facial expression because you know they say pain is just an illusion.

People say u need to believe what u see not feel cuz what u believe can damage somebody's love for u. But that's not what she believes she believes that u should believe what u feel sometimes because if u always believe what u see it can damage someone's love for u. She was mostly used for her help and advice and then they would just leave . When she thought she found someone that could stay she was wrong because she learnt that everyone leaves so instead of getting attached to people she got attached to music.

Music is her everything with music she is broken without music anxiety would kill her.she Also really insecure about almost everything about her but she tries not to show it. She hates going outside so she just likes so sit indoors and listen to her music because she found peace in her music. But as a kid she didn't grow up rich she had a hard life ..her mum left her for years to Stay with her grandparents while she enjoyed her life. When she finished primary school she went to live with her mum ..and everything was fine they laughed and played together and shared huge smiles but one day she hears that her mum might be pregnant but she acted normal though after that everytime she would laugh with her mum she would cherish it because she was afraid that when the new baby comes her mum wouldn't have time for her and she wouldnt laugh with her mum anymore she was afraid she'd lose her last hope to smile she was afraid her mum would just leave her aside again. She thought that maybe for once she could be happy with her mum after years of not talking and never actually being together but she was wrong cuz all of her hopes might just die down again.

So she turned to movies ..she would watch a bunch of movies in a day just so she could try and escape reality and she would listen to music for hours to try and make herself feel better but she would still remember words that was told to her but it's ok she said , she always told herself it's ok and everything is going to be fine.

She would say bts and other music saved her and she wishes she could thank music but unfortunately it's not possible but she's happy with music and she always says music stole her soul and can save her because she knows music would never leave her.

She thought it was all over.. but he messaged her again at around 12 at night apologizing telling her he loved her and she shouldn't leave him .. but she was to afraid to try again , she didn't want to make the same mistake and besides she doesn't even think he did it because he wanted to she's sure he only did it because he was told to so now their just friends and he gave up but sometimes when things happens it hurts , sometimes it hurts alot, sometimes it's for the better, But most importantly it's to teach you a lesson.


Well now he seems completely fine so I wonder if he really cares or if his just playing mind games..