Hello world . 

That's where I started I think, and althoe it was only just a month or two ago that my journey started with all of you here it's been a long sad and difficult  road for me but  looking back on it all it has been quite enlightening as well frustrating mixed with a few other fine for letter f words I'm sure the future phinn won't forcibly forget for sure. I'd like to think that it only began  a year ago when I finally got a boost up from covid and our not so well adjusted goverment (thanks all the same to the tax payers and all three houses of divided representatives for coming together on that one !) But the truth is that I'm sure my journey started long long long before that, as many of yours must have as well. So that being said I owe everyone a big fat apologie for being the big self righteous  pompous smart @** (but only smart enough to make a royal mess of things as I tend to do, but hey at least now you know how I earned my childhood  nickname the Dragon.) Who thinks just because he's self aware he's free to do as he pleases to wake up others without regard to the consequences , perception  of others or even that when I say I try to lead by example , or that if I need to be the change in the world that I wish to see that I'm doing a horrible job at setting an example . To top that off I'm usually charging in head first without thinking with my mouth firmly placed on the the gas peddle about a mile infront of my face so I tend to not only stir the pot but also take a bath in that boiling hot water I cooked up while splashing it on everyone else while doing so. For that and to everyone I've caused damage  to, weather with or without intention due to the ignorance as to what kind of new world I was stepping into I'm truly sorry. I appreciate  your attempts to guide me through  something i had no understanding  of . it caught me off guard in such a way and at such a strange point in my life you all got to see one of the absolute  worst  sides of me. adequately displayed in full 3d view for the whole world to see what a hippocritical unpleasant Human I can be. i won't apologize for that because we all have that place where the world dare not tread. a fear of what people think if they only knew of the scary monster of a truth we all protect. weak moments and bad days, yeah I have them as we all do. however that is a $#¡+ excuse. ⁶⁶no one deserves  to beaten over the head with such verbal weapons  or dissolution  as I have well aimed and demonstrated  at you kind people .  I want to thank everyone who tried to make me see...