“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

-Aristotle

Why is self-awareness crucial for happiness?

We are constantly looking for ways to be happier without defining the meaning of happiness for us. Now, this is like having Google Maps on your mobile phone without knowing the destination you want to reach.

The biggest confusion people face is who they are and who they are supposed to be. We are running our lives in an autopilot mode and trying to fit ourselves into a definition that is given to us without asking questions like

Why are we doing what we are doing?

Where is this leading us?

Do we want to reach where this is leading us?

One of my participants suffered miserably because of this. He did everything that was expected out of him in terms of his education, career, relationship, and finances. Everything was brilliant from the outside. However, he felt empty from inside. He had lost touch with his originality which led to mediocrity, frustration, disappointment, and unhappiness. The worst part is, the process is so slow that one would not even realize when it happens. Once he got aware of his personality and values, he realized that there was nothing wrong with him. All his life, he was pushing himself in the direction which was taking him away from his true self. He started rebuilding himself from scratch, and today people around him are surprised to see the newer version of him. All it required was self-awareness to save all those years of misery.

1. You can craft a definition of your Happiness

What makes someone else happy may not make you happy because you are different individuals. You have different personalities, different value systems, and different aspirations. That is where self-awareness plays a crucial role.

Self-awareness will help you craft your definition of happiness. It will help you understand what type of life you want to lead, the people you want to surround yourself with, and the goals and dreams you want to nurture and follow. This clarity will help you align all your actions with your personality, and that will bring inner peace. With knowing what to do, you will also know what NOT to do. You identify what you don’t like and what upsets you, and that helps you choose your battles wisely and figure out ways to avoid such encounters.

2. You identify your driving forces

One of the participants I met was doing the first job that he had got through campus placements. He was resolute that he wanted to do something extraordinary in his career. The best thing I loved about him was that his actions used to speak louder than his words. However, he was unable to give his 100% in that job because he used to feel that the job was not inspiring enough. When this same guy got to know his TRUE driving forces in the first two weeks of the coaching program, he realized that his understanding of his job had been superficial. For one and half years, he had been living under the illusion that he was not in the right job. He realized that his job had everything that he always wanted to do. He recognized how he could get clarity on the impact of his work and how he would get fame and recognition at a global forum. This understanding led to improved work satisfaction. As a result, his commitment level jumped to the next level, and he became the youngest senior manager in his company.

Once you are mindful of your driving forces, you can change your perception of things, align your actions in line with those motivating factors, and do wonders.

3. You identify your behavioral patterns

If we introspect different areas of our lives like health, money, friends, family, and relations, we will realize that we follow a pattern. Now this pattern can be both positive and negative. A positive one creates desired results for you. A negative one does not lead to the desired results no matter how hard you try. By following such patterns, we keep getting similar types of results every time. Once you are mindful of these patterns, you can strengthen the positive ones and change the negative ones. These patterns lead us to the good or bad rating that we have given in our circle of life (leap 2).

One of my clients had a negative pattern that made her dependent on people for her happiness and peace of mind. She had to face substantial disappointments because one cannot rely on others for something as precious as happiness. She understood what was not working for her and started working towards changing her patterns. She became mentally and emotionally so strong that she does need anyone to keep her happy anymore.

Do this one small exercise. Take some time and pick the area of your life which is not working for you. See if you are following a pattern that is stopping you from doing good in that area.

4. You make decisions that matter to you

We make so many decisions based on people’s opinions. Whether we want to do it or not, is secondary. We do this because we feel if everyone else is doing the same then we should not defer. Let me ask you something. Isn’t it possible that they are also doing it because everyone else around them is doing the same thing? Lol.

There is nothing wrong with asking for opinions. It is good to know the potential outcomes of your decisions. However, decision-making is not about the probable outcome. Decision-making is about how you, as an individual and independent entity, feel about those outcomes. Being self-aware helps you understand this precisely. When you can ascertain which result is more in line with your purpose, you start making decisions that you would never regret. You stop getting pushed by other’s opinions and make decisions that bring happiness and peace to your life. This will enhance your confidence regarding everything you do in your life. You start developing an honest relationship with yourself that shifts your perception about life to be more positive. All these will lead to a happier YOU.

Having understood the importance of self-awareness, let me tell you what I mean by it.

What is self-awareness?

Self-awareness is knowing yourself better. You understand your personality, core values, belief system, strengths, areas of improvement, desires, how you perceive yourself as an individual, and how you perceive the world. You also identify what brings joy to you and what makes you sad. You understand what type of impact you have on people. You know what success means to you. A combination of all above will help you recognize the meaning and purpose of your life.

Now we know why and what of self-awareness. Let’s understand the how of it.

How to work towards self-awareness?

Before we get into action, let me tell you something crucial. Self-awareness is not a destination or a milestone, or a time-bound process. Becoming self-aware is a continuous process. The more effort you put in, the more aware you become.

Two ways of starting your journey are as follows.

1. Maintain a daily journal

Generally, people confuse between writing a diary and writing a journal. Both of them allow you to spend some time with yourself. However, while writing a diary, we pour our thoughts and emotions most of the time, but while maintaining a journal, we also reflect and focus on improving our responses. Writing a journal will help you Identify your triggering points, things you can do to overcome your challenges and track your progress. It will help you understand what happened today and what needs to be changed for a better tomorrow.

You can start with some of the following questions.

How do you define yourself as a person?

What are the most important things in your life?

What do you want in your life?

What did you do today that brought you closer to the purpose of your life?

What traits do you love in yourself and others?

What are your biggest fears?

What was good about today?

What was not so good about today?

What could you have done to improve your today?

Do you love the person who you are right now? (If not, then what changes can you make?)

How do you handle your emotionally challenging moments?

2. Personality assessment test

The better and more effective way is to take this insightful Personality Assessment Test that I use in my 3-month coaching program which will help you with the following.

What is your personality type?

What are your different states?

How do you perceive yourself and the world in each state?

What values and beliefs do you hold?

What are your coping strategies?

What can you do to grow?

If you are serious about working on yourself, then drop your email id in the comment section, and you will receive the link for the test.

I know you loved the blog, so don’t forget to clap. Please share your valuable inputs in the comment section. I will see you next week with another leap in our Pursuit of Happiness.

Happiness

Self-awareness

Life Coaching

Awareness

Life

A certified Life Coach on a mission to impact 1 million lives and make the world a better place.


During my journey as a life coach, I have come across thousands of people who were not happy or satisfied with their lives. The intriguing observation was all of them had a pretty decent life. Things were working out for them the way they had expected. Their assessment of their lives was not bad. However, it was not good either. The amusing observation was that they kept repeating the same thoughts and actions and hoping for different results. That is like using chocolate and vanilla flavor to bake a cake and expecting strawberry cake at the end.

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