Not too long ago I felt like dying. It wasn't something I was really well aware of, it just sat somewhere deep within me, like a chronic disease. I didn't feel alone. Maybe because everybody back where I came from had to face the same fate. Now, I am in a strange place, surrounded by people who were entitled their whole entire lives, and I can't decide whether I feel grateful or guilty. Guilty of abandoning the life I've always known. Life I was born into, just like everybody I've ever loved or cared about. The people that surrounded me back at the outskirts were familiar. All the places I used to live and sleep at were familiar, even though it was mostly cold and empty. I used to go hungry for dozens of days, but I still knew that life. I knew how to navigate through it and I knew I belonged. Whilst right now, I can't say who I am anymore.
The people who took me in are alien. I feel lost, regardless of the fact that I have a place to call home for the first time in my life. My new parents are decent, at least that's what I think after spending a month with them. They take care of me, feed me, and try their best to make me feel at home. It's not really their fault that I feel so lonely. They take me places and teach me about the ways of people around here. They call me sweetheart and panic whenever I say something's wrong, even if I just feel like coughing. Two days ago, Mrs Williams almost got a heart attack after I choked on a piece of pie. She asked me if I'm all right almost ten times after that, and her husband had to promise he would watch over me when she goes out shopping. They insist that I call them mom and dad, they say they are never going to leave me. Based off how desperately they try to keep me safe, I believe them. But I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm not used to being worried about.
For over seventeen years of my life, the life that I was aware of, I got used to death and the inevitability of it. At least I thought it was inevitable for the majority of my existence. Before I came to the city and saw all the medications and medical equipment I've never even heard about. Before they revived me at the hospital and assigned me a new family. Got me a new chance, away from poverty, that I could never dream of.
- Kiara, come down, honey! I made you breakfast! - Mrs Williams wakes me up from my thought process, walking up the stairs leading to my room.
For a brief moment I can't bring myself to say something back to her, I'm still too deep in there. Staring at the city view.
- Mom - I say because I respect that she wishes me to call her that, - isn't that unfair that I get to live here, while all of these people are still at the outskirts? Dying of hunger, and not even knowing that there is something more than hunger?
She sits down next to me on the loveseat, and grabs my hand.
- Honey, why are you thinking about that now? You know there is nothing we can do about it. We're not the government.
- Why won't the government do something, then? If they can?
She sighs deeply, stroking my head.
- They tried, many times. It's just that not everyone wants help. Come on now, you'll be late for class.

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