Maybe it's true. That I am no longer inlove with you. I am just sailing with you. I am trying to balance the boat so you won't sink with your ego. I don't mind losing you. I mind losing myself for you. If you haven't notice yet, I am no longer the same woman who promised to adore you. I have learned to value my worth as you've shown me that you don't see my spark. I've learned to pat my own back and wipe my own tears as I go to bed everynight.

I am in pain at times. Yes, I am. And I won't deny that. But this pain is just making me stronger. It is making me wiser. It is pushing me to move forward. You won't hear me nag anymore. You won't even see me getting mad. I am saving my energy for another. I am creating my escape plan. And don't worry. You'll wake up one day without me.

You wouldn't need to worry about me hearing your little giggles as you talk to your new girl. You wouldn't need to worry about me seeing you happy with her. You wouldn't need to lock your door to have your own space leaving me outside as I eat beat myself with doubts and regrets. You wouldn't need to worry about any of that. When I am gone, you'll get your freedom.

Just hang in there, I am saving my time. I am learning to heal. I am learning to see my day without you. I am mending my heart. So, savour these moments. Savour your time with me if there's even a single drop of respect in there somewhere inside you. Because the moment I turned around and leave, there's no coming back to this misery. You know me. Too well.

© silvervierre