The pain never ends does it? I'm afraid the random depression will lead me to suicide. The rush of wanting to end it all consumes the fuck out of me. I don't want to be this way. I'm not supposed to be this way. The kicks and punches and bruises.. they hurt. How much more can I take? I beg and plead/pray for it to go away....

The thoughts lingure into pursuing actions. But no! I can't. I cant let it win, I don't want to go yet. I can't. 😔😥