1 views
That One Month
Life was good- incomplete, yet good. I was never really intrigued by the thought of marriage. All I had in my mind was if I ever find someone who connects with me, I would give marriage a thought. But my parents were extremely concerned that their daughter wasn't getting married when the rest of the world seemed to be getting married so fast as if it was the end of the world.
On their insistence, I decided to meet a few guys. Every time I met someone, it ended badly (usually with me being rejected). So this time, when the guy said 'yes', I didn't give it much thought and agreed to get married to a man I had interacted with for only 10 minutes. Everyone was excited. I was excited too, to see the rest of the family excited. Settling down with this stranger just didn't immerse my mind. "Love can happen later, right?" I kept reassuring myself. We started talking on the phone. On the very first day, he said that he had studied me completely in just a few minutes. This comment made me worried. "Did I choose the right person?" I kept talking to friends and family, trying to clear my doubts. "Every guy behaves like that in the beginning." They kept telling me. But I had that nagging doubt in my mind that something was wrong.
At every point, he seemed to judge me, my friends, and even my body. He kept on asserting what I should do and what I shouldn't. Every moment I spent talking or chatting with him was frustrating for me. Yet I decided to give him a chance. I knew if I refused, my family would just break down. Foolishly, I tried to avoid the conflict outside while the conflict in me kept brewing.
A few days later (just 10 days), he confessed his love for me. It was confusing. I didn't feel any bit of emotion for him, and the way he behaved kept distancing me from him emotionally. But my concerns were always answered with "Everything will get fine after the wedding" by my family.
His demands of I talk to him at late hours were even more frustrating. And if I didn't talk to him, he would accuse me of different things and would call me names. I had started losing my personal space after only 20 days of meeting him. I voiced my concerns to him and asked for space for a few days to gather my thoughts. I was already having second thoughts. I wanted to break off this arrangement. But I was afraid of my parents' reaction.
I gathered a lot of courage and tried to talk sense into my family. As expected, they didn't understand. The only thing that mattered to them was that after a long while I had been liked by a guy. Meanwhile, the guy kept disregarding my wishes and kept on harassing me every night. It took a toll on my body and mind. I had started experiencing anxiety attacks. I felt as if every single cell of my body was slowly dying. It dawned on me that if a relationship can get so toxic in a few days, how would it survive years.
When I was trying to convince my family that this guy was not right for me, he started contacting my family and manipulated them. I didn't spend any more time making a decision and asked for this marriage arrangement to be dissolved immediately. The backlash I faced from my own family was enormous. Nobody talked to me for days. I was branded as an egoist.
It took time, but I rectified the worst mistake I was about to make. My family gradually came around and realised my reasoning.
The wedding got cancelled. At that moment, I sighed with relief. I knew I wouldn't have survived this. That one month was so traumatic for me that I needed to get therapy. I shudder whenever I think of the future I would have had if I had married this guy. But the next moment, I realise that it didn't happen, and it never will.
© All Rights Reserved
On their insistence, I decided to meet a few guys. Every time I met someone, it ended badly (usually with me being rejected). So this time, when the guy said 'yes', I didn't give it much thought and agreed to get married to a man I had interacted with for only 10 minutes. Everyone was excited. I was excited too, to see the rest of the family excited. Settling down with this stranger just didn't immerse my mind. "Love can happen later, right?" I kept reassuring myself. We started talking on the phone. On the very first day, he said that he had studied me completely in just a few minutes. This comment made me worried. "Did I choose the right person?" I kept talking to friends and family, trying to clear my doubts. "Every guy behaves like that in the beginning." They kept telling me. But I had that nagging doubt in my mind that something was wrong.
At every point, he seemed to judge me, my friends, and even my body. He kept on asserting what I should do and what I shouldn't. Every moment I spent talking or chatting with him was frustrating for me. Yet I decided to give him a chance. I knew if I refused, my family would just break down. Foolishly, I tried to avoid the conflict outside while the conflict in me kept brewing.
A few days later (just 10 days), he confessed his love for me. It was confusing. I didn't feel any bit of emotion for him, and the way he behaved kept distancing me from him emotionally. But my concerns were always answered with "Everything will get fine after the wedding" by my family.
His demands of I talk to him at late hours were even more frustrating. And if I didn't talk to him, he would accuse me of different things and would call me names. I had started losing my personal space after only 20 days of meeting him. I voiced my concerns to him and asked for space for a few days to gather my thoughts. I was already having second thoughts. I wanted to break off this arrangement. But I was afraid of my parents' reaction.
I gathered a lot of courage and tried to talk sense into my family. As expected, they didn't understand. The only thing that mattered to them was that after a long while I had been liked by a guy. Meanwhile, the guy kept disregarding my wishes and kept on harassing me every night. It took a toll on my body and mind. I had started experiencing anxiety attacks. I felt as if every single cell of my body was slowly dying. It dawned on me that if a relationship can get so toxic in a few days, how would it survive years.
When I was trying to convince my family that this guy was not right for me, he started contacting my family and manipulated them. I didn't spend any more time making a decision and asked for this marriage arrangement to be dissolved immediately. The backlash I faced from my own family was enormous. Nobody talked to me for days. I was branded as an egoist.
It took time, but I rectified the worst mistake I was about to make. My family gradually came around and realised my reasoning.
The wedding got cancelled. At that moment, I sighed with relief. I knew I wouldn't have survived this. That one month was so traumatic for me that I needed to get therapy. I shudder whenever I think of the future I would have had if I had married this guy. But the next moment, I realise that it didn't happen, and it never will.
© All Rights Reserved
