My daughter was kidnapped illegally by a man sworn to protect and serve and we became victims of harrassment of CPS for no reason other than falsified accusations they would never be able to prove were true but still after getting her back I was harassed by cps, police, and her school because of him because of his power he abused they proceeded to illegaly remove my daughter from me forever because of it. being harassed by someone connected to law enforcement and being a single working mother still making minimum wage living in section 8 with no family to help financially would make me powerless to stop it.

I wanted to die.... for years the hurt was unbearable. It took me to the bottom of any bottom but I couldn't keep living like that. I needed to change, for my daughter but also myself.

But , I had to accept that i would only be a non-custodial Mother from a distance and I had to be okay with it!

I never thought 4 years ago that my life would be turned upside down and that I would have my (almost)6 year old daughter ripped from me multiple times and ultimately put in foster care. Then to battle for years to retain custody her asking me every visit when she was coming home I would tell her soon baby soon... i was so wrong, I couldnt keep my word of being able to give her the only thing she wanted so bad, to come home and be around her grandparents. I was forced by cps falsely making up a lie saying if I didnt sign her over they would put a restraining order on my child and I, and I would never see her again. I figured if they could take her away from me for no reason they could definitely keep her from me forever. Heartbroken and hopeless, I would sign in blood that I had to give my little girl that I gave birth too, raised, and loved with all my heart to mere strangers and give up all my rights.

I was destructive the first few years without my daughter. Please do not take lightly my mental state I was in. Suicide was a lingering thought I battled daily. To feel like you didnt want to exist because the pain was suffocating.

This Is something I wrote during those times of terrible sadness.

"Nobody will ever know true loss until you've found yourself collapsed to your knees from weakness, suffocating like smoked replaced air, a burning hurt consuming your whole body like ravishing flames. All you can do is scream, crying and begging and pleadin to god to just combust you to mere ashes like nonexistence was the only way out of the pain you felt. "

Not only did I have extreme ptsd from the trauma I had been put through from cps for months before she was ripped from me but I also had to watch as my little girl ripped from me no goodbye, cops throwing me up against a wall right in front of her as they sweeped out with her, not letting me see her for a month, then 2 visits a week for 2 hours for 2 1/2 years. To 3 visits a year after forcing me to sign adoption paper work. She grew farther and farther a away from me to where I dont even know that little girl I gave life too. On top...