From one eldest to another, thank you for being strong. Thank you for sometimes being the woman and mother you didn't have to be. When you're mistakenly called 'mom', thank you for taking it in stride. It can sometimes feel like the highest compliment or the saddest loss of girlhood.

Thank you for trying to watch out for everyone and considering their feelings, even when it means you ignore yours. Very soon, you'll need to learn how to cope with the things you bottled up, whether you like it or not. But still, thank you.

Thank you for the times you held it together when others didn't. Thank you for being brave and traversing your unique kind of loneliness. Thank you for maintaining a ridiculous sense of humour, even when your innermost corners didn't feel like smiling. Thank you for being practical and fun, organised and chaotic, strict yet compassionate all at once. You're often the bridge between calm motherhood and fierce sisterhood. Half- parent, half- sibling, all protector.

Oldest daughter, you likely know my flaws just as well as I know yours. We're not total saints, but we do try. Oh Lord, how we try. When we snap, we are our own harshest critics because we have failed to be 'perfect' and in control. But my dear, each one of us is a whole personality too. We are children, teenagers and women with hobbies, pet peeves, happinesses and sorrows. Sometimes we just want to mess about and be allowed to mess up. And then be forgiven and looked at just as we are.

Oldest girl, if you're regularly appreciated by others in word and action, you're blessed and I'm happy for you. But if you're not, I don't really know what to say.

Though I suppose I could start with, 'I'm so proud of you.'

~ For all the eldest girls. Read it. Again and again. As much as you need to (28.06.23).

© Abigail Sim