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First Meetup (II)
"What is it like to love someone to infinity and beyond?" he always wondered.
Days passed, and then one day, out of nowhere he was hit by a thought of the time when he met his lover for the first time, offline, in the real world other than the world in his dreams where he used to meet her everynight.
He can still recall, it was totally unplanned. His love was about to embark on a journey to her favourite place, The Mountains. Although, it was not actually how they had planned their first meetup. It was maybe, just the need of the hour. He went to METRO to see her off. As soon as he entered the gate, and parked his vehicle. He could already feel a different kind of energy, something majestic, something unreal, something unusual, something rare, something big, residing there. It was, as if he was sensing her existence by the very charm her personality had, her gait, her aroma, her shoes kissing the floor, her dark coloured hair fondling the gust of wind, her angelic black coloured eyes, her freckled cheeks. Everything about her was just fictionally flawless. The moment she took one step towards him, his soul kinda left his body. He could feel it.
He can still recall, as they both were approaching each other, he was strangely nervous and was having a hard time making an eye contact, he knew if he did, he wouldn't be the same person again, he would never come out of those unrealistically pretty eyes of his beloved.
He can still recall, he was looking around, making sure there was no human soul who could interrupt their little world.
Then, all of a sudden, something unreal for him, happened, they both held their hands and hugged each other for a while. To describe, what he was feeling at that moment, he was literally out of words. As much as he wanted this moment to last forever, as much as he wanted to hug her for a little longer, as much as he wanted to hold her hand for a little more and tell her how much of a beautiful human she is, how much he loves her, how adorable she is looking in that yellow dress, how much slaying her eyes are, how much he cares for her, how much he is grateful to God for finally blessing him with the girl of his dreams, how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, how much he wants to make her feel happy, how much motivated he is because of her, how much he wants to be the person who will bring her out of her sorrows everytime she feels down, how much,...how much he feels lucky to have her, how much in love he is with her, how much he falls for her everyday. Even with all these thoughts running through his mind, he took his steps back with the courage he didn't have, he felt chills running through his body. He made an excuse, had a chat, bid farewell and left. He got scared. He always had these insecurities and fears, what if they never got to be together, what if they never got to hug each other again like this, what if someone from her past stole her from him, what if someone didn't let this reunion happen again, what if "what they have" didn't last forever? Then how will he even manage to come out of that feeling of "her touching him". How will he be the same person again? what if she left him for his flaws? what if she couldn't accept him with all these insecurities. What if she started hating him for his insecurities someday? what if she got hurt to the extent where she doesn't want to see his face again? That is maybe the reason why he used to delay their meetups before. All these insecurities used to haunt him everytime she was not around or on call. For the very same reason, he always told her to help him clear all these confusions and insecurities, tell him these are just doubts and nothing more, tell him she was going to be with him until the very end, tell him she was not going anywhere. He didn't want to lose her. He had become so vulnerable, sometimes, he used to act stupid and cold for the very same reason. And sometimes, he became so competitive in an argument that his insecurities used to haunt him. He wanted to be sure what they had is not just temporary, because it wasn't something ordinary for him. He had changed so much, he was not he anymore, he had chosen to be vulnerable around her after many bad experiences he faced in his past. Moreover, to get rid of these insecurities he wanted to take things slow, he didn't want to act in haste like every other guy in the "STREET" who run after bodies. He didn't want to have the audacity to touch her without knowing if it was ever gonna last.
And here they are, both fell a prey to his insecurities.
unknown,
strangers,
blocked.
This is how much cruel "fate" can be to humans sometime.

P.S: He will always pray for her tranquility and her peaceful life. No matter, who she chooses to be with.

13/03/2021.
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