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SPEECHLESS
To my Dear Readers! Hey! I'm crying right now, I just checked my account just right now because I'm busy with my work out routine. Then, when I opened it! Wow! I just got this badge all because of you Guys! :') #TearsOfJoy <3

I started to write here in writco last January 2,2023. I started searching for the best writing app to lessen my sadness. You know Guys, I've been through alot and so much in life that I can't stop myself for staying in the dark. I'm always crying almost everyday.

Let me share to you my story Guys. Before meeting all of you, I've been through alot pain. I have this online business before, I uses to provide this opportunity to my customers to have their phone installments. To let them have the phone they can't afford paying cash to other stores and malls. By this, they're also helping my poor family because every profit that came from my business, is where we get our food, and other needs in able to live.

My supplier is good, in my first batch of orders, phone arrived, safe and complete. I posted proofs that my business is litterally legit. Then in my second batch of orders, many customers is now trusting me and leave the downpayment first enable for me to pay to my supplier and for them to get their phone installments. The second batch arrived, all good but this time, not complete. My supplier told me that she will just put the other phone units right together with my third batch of orders. I posted so many proofs already that I'm legit because all my phone orders which was the first and second batch arrived. Now, I have so many clients and customers who's fully trusting me indeed.

To make the whole story short. I was scammed by my supplier. My third batch of orders didn't came. I sent all of my customers' and clients' downpayments to her for the phone installments! :'( She blocked me on facebook and on my phone numbers as well! I can't contact her anymore!!! :'( She's a fraud! She took everything! Almost 57,000 pesos! She let me drown in shame and she pushed me to depression! My customers don't want to listen to any of my explanations and proof that I was scammed! I'm the one they blamed and post me to social media as a scammer. Some of my friends and family comforted me except to those who are close-minded and judge just what the other people did! Even some of my family did judged me and blew a hurtful word towards me. You know how hurt I am in that very moment? It's like I'm being stabbed directly through my heart without even giving me a chance to speak for myself. :'( I also think to end my life and put a rope around my neck, put a knife right into my pulse, and even overdose myself with drugs! :'(

The stress, the pain, the hurt, and all of the shame I've been through because of what happened. It's like I've been convicted and being judged guilty for the crime I never even committed! :'(

Money is nothing for me! Yes money can help us with our needs but I always put God first in my life. Money is just temporary. It feels like they bought my dignity just because of their money who was took by my supplier at the first place! NOT ME! :'( I can earn money by a clean way, not by what they're thinking! One by one, I refunded the money for my customers sake,for them to shut up! If I'm the one who took their money, why would I face them and take the responsibility to refund them anyway!?

There's this friend of mine who told me, "I knew you very well, and I know you won't do such thing. I want you to know, that I'm at your side, and I won't mind lending you some money to help you for the refund. Some of your family believed that you did that because I know, from the very start they're jealous of you because you're the Family's favorite! They're just waiting for this time to happen so that they'll finally have the reason to shout." and smiled. That thought of my friend made me realized that what he'd said is right! But taking money from him, I never did that. I refunded my customers one by one, all by myself.

I WON'T TAKE ANY MONEY FROM THEM, ESPECIALLY IF THAT MONEY IS NOT FROM MY OWN SWEAT.

For there information! I graduated college with the four year degree course without the help of my family and parents. In my vacant time in the morning, if my schedule is free, I'm accepting drawing projects from Grade 5 students and they're paying me for my works. Enough for me to save for my school projects and school fees too. Sometimes, I DON'T EAT! Just to have an extra to give some food for the homeless child on the plaza where I used to sit sometimes. I don't care about myself! I'm not that kind of girl who's fand of shopping, make ups, having parties, and buying expensive nor branded things to boast on! My heart is full of love, my tears is suddenly falling whenever I saw homeless people especially if there's already old. Yes I can't eat for one day if I'll give what I have to them, but I asked myself, how long these people haven't eat since day one?

In the evening, I'm asking my friend to let me join their band. I sing in a bar just to have 200 pesos in 4 hours of performing. Then I'm going to save it again for my allowance and sometimes, I'm the one who will send money to my family.

So you see? Money for me, I can earn it with my talents and hardwork! I don't need to be a fraud nor a scammer to gain it! I get money in a clean way! Like what they said, dirty hands, clean money, earning money from blood and sweat! NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE THINKING THAT I AM WHAT THEY SAID I AM! I WILL STOP BELIEVING IN MYSELF AND JUST LET THEM DO THAT TO ME!

I CRY FOR AWHILE AFTER THAT CIRCUMSTANCES IN MY LIFE, THEN AFTER THAT CRY, I PULLED MYSELF UP AND BEGIN TO BE STRONG!

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOU WHO BROKE ME! I FINALLY REBUILD MYSELF AND BECAME THE STRONGER VERSION OF ME NOW!!! :') <3
© Eamnevuj23